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15 year old son going down wrong path

by Mariano
(Queens, NY)




My son is 15 years old, I have 2 children, and my daughter is doing great. My son however, is not going to school, has been smoking pot, and I have now learned that he was selling pot.

I have family in Virginia that took him for 5 months to get him back on track, it seemed like he changed for the better when he was there and promised if he came back to live with me he would change for the better.

well since hes been back, he has only gotten worse. My family in Virginia said they would take him to finish last 3 years of schooling, but I feel like a failure.

What do I do? Keep him here and keep trying to help him or send him to Virginia in a new environment? Will he go through withdrawal and try to hurt himself because he doesn't have the pot? Will he hate me? I'm so confused?




Comments for
15 year old son going down wrong path

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Take Charge
by: Ned Wicker

Dear Mariano,
Perhaps when your son was in Virginia, he was out of the drug culture. High schools around the country are filled with drug dealers. Get some support for yourself.

Call Al-anon and speak to other parents and exchange notes. You have to have firm rules, boundaries and limitations for your son. You also need to be a strong influence in his life and be a part of it. Spend him with him and be interested in his activities. Will he hate you? That's not the question to ask. Are you being the parent you need to be and are you guiding your son? That's the question for you.


Don't be his buddy, be his parent. That's sometimes an ugly job, but he needs leadership, so you need to step up. That might require tough love and setting up the rules of the road for him to follow. You cannot allow him to use and sell drugs, period. Sometimes that means you take harsh action. Call Al-anon and get their take on your situation.

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