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40-something year old brother is an alcoholic

My 40-something year old brother is an alcoholic who, within the last 3 years, has lost everything--his wife, his three kids, and his home. He has been drinking since his early teens, has been suffering from an anxiety disorder, is depressed, & has attempted suicide countless times--once having been found by his 13 year old daughter, hanging from the rafters of his garage.

My parents are 69 and 71 years old, and my unemployed, depressed, mentally unstable brother is living in their house. He is unemployed, so therefore, he cannot purchase alcohol, and my parents do not give him money for alcohol, so he is dry.

But, any time he has money, he purchases marijuana, which makes him act completely insane. He is verbally abusive with my parents, my Mom especially. My Dad (whom is his step father, but has raised him from toddler-dom) loves my Mom too much to put his foot down and force my brother out of the house.

My Mom feels helpless in the situation, has guilt issues (although her other four kids turned out perfectly fine) and cannot bring herself to kick my brother out. She is a top of the line, 100%, full blown ENABLER.

She wants my brother to get a job, get a place to live, have joint custody of his children, pay taxes like the rest of us, and remain clean and sober BUT she cannot stop letting him take total advantage of the situation.

They take care of him, and he is completely ungrateful and insists that the world "owes him". He has a social worker, but in my opinion, although a nice person, she is completely useless and has not done anything to benefit him in the 1 1/2 years she's been working with him. NOTHING.

My parents are not young anymore, and they deserve to spend the last couple decades of their lives being HAPPY and not having to cater to my leach of a brother who does not contribute anything to the household whatsoever except anxiety, depression, and an overall sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

I need help finding my parents a way for them to change their enabling behavior. We live in the 16748 zip code. Are there any support communities in our area that might help with this?

I have to do something. I have been watching my brother ruin the lives of everyone around him for all of my 27 years on this earth. It's time to make him help himself, since we've all been trying to help him for so long, and it is NEVER enough. PLEASE


Comments for 40-something year old brother is an alcoholic

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Take Control!
by: Ned Wicker

Your brother has lost everything and the last little bit of relationship he has left is your mom and dad.

His alcoholism has completely robbed him of any humanity, so no matter how much they are suffering, or will suffer, he doesn't care.

You might want to consider calling Al-Anon and getting some support. That organization has helped millions of people. You need to take control and help your parents.

Your brother needs to get treatment or he is going to die. There is no choice for him.

He must allow himself to be helped.

The present situation cannot continue. You might need to take drastic measures, but consult with Al-Anon, your doctor, a local treatment center or hospital and get a game plan prepared for your family.

You might not be able to help your brother, who does not want it but you can help your parents.

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