Drug Abuse Questions:
What Should I Do? How do I know?
You are faced with a situation and you don’t know what to do. It’s common with people who are dealing with drug abuse and/or Drug Abuse questions for the first time, or even those who have dealt with them for years but never learned about what they can or should do in a given situation.
This section of the site is a work in progress. We have begun with 20 or so questions and will add to those questions as we receive them, or read about them on other sites. To make navigation a little easier, we have tried to divide questions up into major topic areas, i.e. what to do if you are a spouse or a parent or if you are having troubles. Please also let us know any Drug Abuse questions you have by using the "Contact Us" button on the left.
I. Personal Concerns
Am I abusing drugs?
II. Family: Spouse/Partner
III. Family: Child
How do I talk to my teen?
IV. Recovery/Cycle of Addiction
What is recovery?
What is Intervention?
VI. General Questions
Isn't Drug Abuse self-inflicted?
I am in recovery, but I am afraid of using again?
Bf is oxy addict. So alone and need help.
(Los Cabos, Mexico)
My bf is banging oxy and I don't know what to do. I don't do drugs and
don't know how I got in this place except that I love him.
He claims he loves me but does he? I can't talk to anyone as I am to ashamed for people to know that I am in this place or for them to judge me or him. Does anyone get how this feels?
Help me please I feel I am lost. I know what to say to others but don't know how to act. Help me please.
Take A Stand
by: Ned Wicker
You are involved in a one-way relationship. Right now, you are worried about his drug use, but he is not. You are thinking about the future of your relationship, but he is not. You say that you love him and you are concerned that he may not love you, but he thinks about doing his drug of choice. You are going nowhere.
You need to understand that you want a man, not a substance use disorder. You want a relationship, not a constant worry about what he is doing. You want him to love you and respect you. As it is, he has no choice but to do his drugs.
As the disease progresses, nothing else matters to the addict but getting high. There is no room in his life for you right now and if he does not get treatment, he will never love you and never treat you with kindness and gentleness. He needs to decide what he wants for his life.
Does he want to have a loving relationship with you, or does he want to use drugs? If you stay with him and allow him to use drugs, he will walk all over you and you will never have the kind of life you want.
You need to make a choice—it’s either you or the drugs. Not both. You need to communicate that in the clearest possible terms to him, so there is no mistake. You must set the boundaries of your relationship and have respect for yourself.
I understand that you love him, but you love the man you knew BEFORE he became obsessed with oxy. You want that man back, not the man you have. As it stands, you have nothing.
You must form a plan to get him into treatment and stop the drug use. As for being ashamed, understand that addiction is a disease and needs treatment. It’s not about you, but about him getting treatment.
If he is willing to do that, you may want to keep trying. If he is not willing, you have no future and your best move is to walk away from the relationship before you get hurt.