Addiction often begins with negative thinking.
by Amy Cooper, guest blogger
"For many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an addiction... A lot of people suffer from this disease because negative thinking is addictive to each of the Big Three -- the mind, the body, and the emotions. If one doesn't get you, the others are waiting in the wings."--Peter McWilliams
I have been really thinking over the past few months about addiction; especially since I was recently blessed to be working at a treatment facility. I know that I am an addict and my addiction was more than just cocaine.
My addiction began with negative thinking; not processing pain, shame and guilt; manipulation to always get what I wanted; selfish me thinking I was entitled to do what I wanted whether it was right or wrong; resentment, and playing the helpless victim could have won me the Oscar at times I do believe… and the list can roll on and on…
What I have come to realize though is I am an addict that can’t use any other mind altering substances either. Yes, I am sober from cocaine; does that mean I won’t be an addict if I drink? The answer is I will be an addict for the rest of my life and any and all substances legal or not that affects my mind, mood, and body I can’t be a part of.
I thought about this for a while, actually over the past few months. If I am done, I have to be done with it all. I can’t teeter back and forth with a drink here, glass of wine here and there. Why? I am an addict. The addiction will come back eventually. Maybe not the first, second or third drink, but yes, eventually it will come back and this time it will come to destroy. It will send me back to the lies, deceit, hurting others, an unbalanced lifestyle, and eventually hurting myself.
I am an addict.
That doesn’t mean I am not any fun. That means I choose to have fun sober. That means that I don’t have to worry about the drive after dinner or even when I choose to go dancing with friends. This means I can rest my head on my pillow at night and not pass out on my pillow. This means that I will not have a hangover in the morning,
The moods will swing a lot less and I will have a much healthier body, mind and soul. This means I will also have a clean conscious and can remember what I said the night before. I hear people tell me all the time that they have been drinking for years and it has never affected them. Well, maybe not, but…it has effected EVERYONE around them!
Addiction is selfish!
Addiction is a very selfish act. No, maybe it hasn’t gotten you yet to where you can’t function, but I can assure you it HAS disabled the lives of your family and friends. You may not realize it, because addiction is about 1 and 1 only, the addict.
I recently heard a man give his testimony. He spoke about being married and having a family. For over 20 years he promised to stop. He finally has, but lost his family. They are slowly coming around now, 10 years later.
We can’t expect for those that we have hurt to come jump in our arms because we have changed. It will take time. I have humbly accepted the consequences of my previous actions. I know that relationships that were torn apart for over 10 years won’t be fixed in 1 year. I have learned patience.
I also know I don’t have to do this alone. I do have God, but I also have several rooms that are daily filled with recovery that I am welcome to walk into and spend an hour in to find peace and serenity. IF you are in recovery, and want to stay there, find these rooms to sit in. AA, NA, and several other organizations are waiting to help.
Honesty is the foundation of change.
Accepting responsibility, humility, open mindedness and willingness are just a few of the attitudes that are essential for survival of the disease of addiction. Get rid of that negative "stink-in think-in" and focus on what you can be grateful for. If you are reading this, you can start with being grateful you are alive!
Positive thoughts, positive actions, positive results....
~Philippians 4:8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-THINK about such things.~
About me: My name is Amy Cooper, and I am an addict. I have struggled with addiction and will until I die. I served time in a Federal Prison Camp for women in Alderson, WV. I am grateful though for the time I served. I learned that “Honesty is the only foundation of Change.”
When I write, it is from the heart and the raw truth, which is hard for some. I have accepted who I am and love myself and have forgiven myself as well as others.
THE beauty of all the bad I have lived is this: I am now a Christian, and the Lord’s Grace brought me back and better than I could have ever thought possible.
We go through the storms to see the rainbows after. My life has been a storm for a while subjecting my family and friends to a lot of unnecessary drama. Now, the rainbow has shown its beautiful colors in my life!
My Faith, I have brought back home, to the Beach. Look forward to sharing with you my life, trials, tribulations and hearing and praying about yours.