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Addiction often begins with negative thinking.

by Amy Cooper, guest blogger

"For many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an addiction... A lot of people suffer from this disease because negative thinking is addictive to each of the Big Three -- the mind, the body, and the emotions. If one doesn't get you, the others are waiting in the wings."--Peter McWilliams

I have been really thinking over the past few months about addiction; especially since I was recently blessed to be working at a treatment facility. I know that I am an addict and my addiction was more than just cocaine.

My addiction began with negative thinking; not processing pain, shame and guilt; manipulation to always get what I wanted; selfish me thinking I was entitled to do what I wanted whether it was right or wrong; resentment, and playing the helpless victim could have won me the Oscar at times I do believe… and the list can roll on and on…

What I have come to realize though is I am an addict that can’t use any other mind altering substances either. Yes, I am sober from cocaine; does that mean I won’t be an addict if I drink? The answer is I will be an addict for the rest of my life and any and all substances legal or not that affects my mind, mood, and body I can’t be a part of.

I thought about this for a while, actually over the past few months. If I am done, I have to be done with it all. I can’t teeter back and forth with a drink here, glass of wine here and there. Why? I am an addict. The addiction will come back eventually. Maybe not the first, second or third drink, but yes, eventually it will come back and this time it will come to destroy. It will send me back to the lies, deceit, hurting others, an unbalanced lifestyle, and eventually hurting myself.

I am an addict.

That doesn’t mean I am not any fun. That means I choose to have fun sober. That means that I don’t have to worry about the drive after dinner or even when I choose to go dancing with friends. This means I can rest my head on my pillow at night and not pass out on my pillow. This means that I will not have a hangover in the morning,

The moods will swing a lot less and I will have a much healthier body, mind and soul. This means I will also have a clean conscious and can remember what I said the night before. I hear people tell me all the time that they have been drinking for years and it has never affected them. Well, maybe not, but…it has effected EVERYONE around them!

Addiction is selfish!

Addiction is a very selfish act. No, maybe it hasn’t gotten you yet to where you can’t function, but I can assure you it HAS disabled the lives of your family and friends. You may not realize it, because addiction is about 1 and 1 only, the addict.

I recently heard a man give his testimony. He spoke about being married and having a family. For over 20 years he promised to stop. He finally has, but lost his family. They are slowly coming around now, 10 years later.

We can’t expect for those that we have hurt to come jump in our arms because we have changed. It will take time. I have humbly accepted the consequences of my previous actions. I know that relationships that were torn apart for over 10 years won’t be fixed in 1 year. I have learned patience.

I also know I don’t have to do this alone. I do have God, but I also have several rooms that are daily filled with recovery that I am welcome to walk into and spend an hour in to find peace and serenity. IF you are in recovery, and want to stay there, find these rooms to sit in. AA, NA, and several other organizations are waiting to help.

Honesty is the foundation of change.

Accepting responsibility, humility, open mindedness and willingness are just a few of the attitudes that are essential for survival of the disease of addiction. Get rid of that negative "stink-in think-in" and focus on what you can be grateful for. If you are reading this, you can start with being grateful you are alive!

Positive thoughts, positive actions, positive results....

~Philippians 4:8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-THINK about such things.~

About me: My name is Amy Cooper, and I am an addict. I have struggled with addiction and will until I die. I served time in a Federal Prison Camp for women in Alderson, WV. I am grateful though for the time I served. I learned that “Honesty is the only foundation of Change.”

When I write, it is from the heart and the raw truth, which is hard for some. I have accepted who I am and love myself and have forgiven myself as well as others.

THE beauty of all the bad I have lived is this: I am now a Christian, and the Lord’s Grace brought me back and better than I could have ever thought possible.

We go through the storms to see the rainbows after. My life has been a storm for a while subjecting my family and friends to a lot of unnecessary drama. Now, the rainbow has shown its beautiful colors in my life!

My Faith, I have brought back home, to the Beach. Look forward to sharing with you my life, trials, tribulations and hearing and praying about yours.


http://www.faithatthebeach.com

Comments for Addiction often begins with negative thinking.

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OUR DAUGHTER IS A BLESSING !
by: LINDA COOPER

Our daughter Amy is the author of this post. We as a Family are so blessed to be seeing the way the Lord is working in her life.

May this post that she has written touch the lives of those that are hurting and need to know that there is HOPE for their lives and people that are willing to share this HOPE with them.

Psalm 91:11

Great article!
by: Kam

You continue to be a blessing to so many that are hurting and in need. We are proud of the progress you have made, and continue to make. Stay strong!

Keep on sharing!
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your story. I will share this story with other women who are addicts with hope to inspire. Keep on sharing. God has an amazing plan for your life.

Addiction often begins with negative thinking...
by: Jerry

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have had negative thoughts ruin my life along with the addiction,and your right we have to get the negativity and resentment out of our heads.

Unfortunately, I am married to a very negative person. My wife is not an addict, she has never tried anything not even cigarettes. She has a lot of self esteem issues and is very insecure, and is always thinking the worst of people especially me.

Every time I leave the house and gone to long she thinks I'm cheating on her. I am a very loyal man and have not and will never cheat on my wife!!! I don't know why she is that way cause I've never given her a reason to think that of me.

She has been cheated on by past relationships and so have I, and always assure her I'm not ever going to hurt or disrespect her in that way.

Yes, it makes it harder for me to get clean cause if a person hears the negative remarks of a loved one then it starts to become believable. I suffer not only of addiction but I also have been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety disorder with agoraphobia, and panic disorder with recurring features.

I myself have self esteem issues and think I'm not the man I should be because back in 2008-2009 i injured my back at work and now I can't and that really messes with my head cause I feel I'm not the man I should be because I can't work to take care of my family. I have filed for disability but who can live off of $720 a month and support a wife and two teen age kids?

I have tried talking to her and explain to her what I feel is going on and that her way of thinking and causing unnecessary drama just for the sake of an agreement. I would like your opinion on this.

Thank You,
Jerry

Consider attending meetings together.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jerry,

Addiction is almost always a family problem and the entire family needs help and support to end it. I'd recommend that you and your wife begin attending Al-anon and AA meetings together at least twice a week.

Our addiction often causes our loved ones to loose trust in us because we often lie to hid our addiction from them. Al-anon often helps us to repair our broken relationships as we learn how to move past our addictions.

Negative thinking is extremely detrimental to relationships and helping your wife to understand addiction and rebuild her trust in you can be transformational for your relationship with each other. The 12 steps are a wonderful way for us to learn how to rebuild the relationships that our addiction has damaged.

Good Luck,

Debbie

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and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8






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