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After heroin I dispersed Subutex for 10 years.....

by Mardi

I couldn't get clean without some help. When prostitution, theft, credit card fraud became my norm, the private school educated girl knew rehab wasn't enough. Maybe methadone or Subutex could hold me. Because at that stage I'd resigned myself to the fact hat I would use til I die. I would find the money no matter the fact I'd ruined everyone including myself. So I got on the withdrawal program.

I'm not writing this to highlight my debauched, vile lifestyle while I was using heroin, I'm writing this to warn others using about this story as I am dying.

I decided shooting up Subutex was such a great idea. It's cheap. I seem straight I owned a successful business that I started using the funds my father left me when he died.

Where is the problem here?????

10 years after I first injected bupe so I wouldn't fall off the proverbial cart. I found out my kidneys are dying. They have a disease which makes them dense and dead. From years of flushing bupe, and all its made up of, through my system I have various symptoms.

It's not just the kidneys. My teeth. Although not a cavity as I'm a stickler for dental hygiene. My body is rejecting them. They are loose!!! I have to have all the glamorous teeth removed as my white blood cells instead of attacking the bacteria I inject every day, they're attacking my teeth!!!

So I have 5 years before my son is without his mother. I'm only 42. I haven't used heroin for 10 years and still the addiction got me.

If u r thinking shooting bupe is a great idea...... Please don't.

My chemo starts in a few months yes after I have all my beautiful teeth removed. My hair will fallout and ultimately I'll look worse than any junkie I every knew...

I hope I have saved just one person. I know they prescribe Suboxone to stop people doing what I did but for the ones who don't look like they'd do that and for the ones who would....,

Comments for After heroin I dispersed Subutex for 10 years.....

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I will pray for you and your son.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Mardi,

Your story is very moving and sad. Opiates attack our brain and and convince us do to things that we NEVER thought we'd do. We're each unique and how opiates effect us is also unique. No one can fully understand what each of us has experienced.

In the time you have left, I'm hoping that you reach out to the NA or AA community (by attending local group meetings) and begin to work the 12 steps.

Hopefully, through the support you'll receive there, you can find your higher power and learn how to find peace during this very difficult time. Surrendering to our higher power allows us to find joy and peace when we never thought it was possible. It also allows us to forgive ourselves for things that we wish we'd never have done.


Drug pill addict
by: Steve

I'm headed towards the same place you're at, at least it seems that way. I used to be a junkie, dope, oxycontin, percocet, whatever I could get my hands on. Now I'm on Subutex, have been for almost 10 years but I snort it.

I'm physically addicted to snorting it and getting high, I don't know how to stop,and don't really want to as it gets me mildly high. I lost all my teeth already, I'm only 36.

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