Get Help Now!  

  800.815.3910 

  Available 24/7   

The road to recovery starts here! Trusted, confidential help available 24/7. Speak with an addiction treatment specialist anytime. Please call us now at 800-815-3910!




Cocaine and Dead Veins

by Kimberly Gray
(Toronto)

http://authora.me

http://authora.me

As I finished my latest book, namely; “My life as a white female drug dealer”, I stopped, exhaled and wondered who I just wrote about.

The biggest coping mechanism I have, has been denial. This can also be the most dangerous defect of character. It was denial I attempted to feel when finishing my book but I wasn’t able to because it was in black and white, permanently for the world to see how far and how low I let my addiction take me. Rather the lack of living it brought me to. I’ll put a link up.

I’m not here to sell books. I am here to share with you that being a drug addict killed me and being a drug addict saved me. I shot dope for a few decades with the track marks and abscess scars to remind me for life.

I won’t lie, I loved my cocaine as my world fell apart around me, with no awareness on a conscious level. To sum up my active years as an addict would be to share with you I went to lengths, whatever that meant and the gates of insanity to get high. I had to get high. I needed to get high. Why? So many theory’s exist, I think they are all correct if they work for you. I personally had to be high as long as I was awake to numb my feelings. I could not cope with life any other way. I believe this was in my makeup from trauma and never being taught healthy coping mechanisms. Landing me in a spiral effect the first time I got high. It fixed me and life was bearable. I also believe addiction is genetic and a family disease. Those were the two reasons I got high and joined the criminal forces around me to make sure I kept getting high.

It worked for many years. I was able to get high, work, have a family, great relations with my family, golfed, danced, swordsmanship, fencing to name a few. No one was the wiser. There we do with denial again. Of course everyone eventually knew. The reason I know this is because I literally lost everything I loved or cared about. Sick part is that pain was not enough for me to stop. Indeed I was a high functioning addict for a long time, I lived to get high. Then I began having to get high to live.

I’ll try to wrap up. When we use drugs we slowly deteriorate first spiritually, then mentally and finally physically. This is how addiction saved my life. Once I entered recovery in absolute truth I began learning and healing first physically, then mentally, finally spiritually. Not religiously, but a level of spirituality I had never known and the reason I am here today. Look if you even have the slightest desire to get clean, talk to someone who’s clean, anyone. There are a guaranteed only 3 outcomes and not knowing when. Active addicts we know end in jails, institutions or death.

Be smart, besides you can always go right back to it. My worst day sober is still better than my best day high. Have a safe 24.

Click here to post comments

Do you have a question or story? It's easy to ask your question or submit your story. How? Simply click here to return to Drug Addiction Facts.





and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8






Recent Articles

  1. God Given Gift, To Be My Own God!

    Aug 21, 17 09:13 AM

    Im a 39 years old, and have two beautiful daughters, ages 11 and 16. I've been using daily, since the age of 12 years old. I've used meth, cocaine, ecstasy,

    Read More

  2. Heroin addicted but no money for treatment?

    Aug 21, 17 08:55 AM

    I will be brief. I am 51 years old and for the past 10yrs. have been on a downward spiral that started with OxyContin and roxycontin and has gradually

    Read More

  3. How do we talk to each other?

    Aug 19, 17 11:37 AM

    It’s one thing to tell somebody something they need to know, but it’s quite another story for them to hear you. Sure, they listen, and they may even listen

    Read More


Follow on Twitter or Google+







Search this Site:





   

We're also launching four new classes which will help you learn how to use motivation, affirmation and encouragement to end addiction in yourself or a loved one. Each class will focus on an evidence-based concept, explaining how to illicit positive change in yourself or in someone you love.

Ending addiction is all about learning to change, and these classes will teach you how to do that right now. We will show you practical techniques that research has shown to be effective for achieving change and successfully ending addiction. We'll begin offering these classes this September through Learn-It-Live (Learn-It-Live is easy to use teaching tool and you don't need to download anything to use it). Click Register Now! below to join one of our classes.


Four new addiction classes:

- Addiction 101, a FREE 60 minute course introducing key recovery concepts, starting September 12.

Addiction 101 Register Now!

- Why Motivation?, understanding motivation with encouragement to change. Learn how to encourage motivation and facilitate positive change. This 4-week, 60 minute class begins Wednesday, October 3, with a cost of $29.

Why Motivation? Register Now!

- Change Talk, a building-block for addiction recovery. This course teaches us to recognize and encourage Change Talk, which research has proven to lead to positive change. This 4-week, 60 minute class begins, Wednesday, November 1 with a cost of $29.

Change Talk Register Now!

- Effective Conversations, learning to connect for recovery. This course teaches us how to have productive, change-focused conversations, which research has shown, facilitate positive change and addiction recovery. This 4-week, 60 minute class begins Wednesday, December 6 with a cost of $29.

Effective Conversations Register Now!