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Daniel

by Pam Hopkins
(UK)

On 16 March 1972 my beautiful baby boy was born. Such a beautiful baby, such a gentle little boy, such a helpful gentle little boy.

He moved in with his partner when he was 25 and they had a lovely life, they bought a flat, then they bought a house and rented the flat and then out of the blue they brought a lovely little girl into this world.

They had it all, lovely home, lovely little girl, good jobs and then we find out that my beautiful son is a cocaine addict.

He left his beautiful family for a Hooker and her child. He borrowed money from us because he needed to get straight and promised he had kicked the habit. We tried to accept her.

Then this week he comes to see me and tells me he wants to talk to me, don't worry it's something good!!!

MUM, I AM AN ADDICT AND HAVE JOINED CA I CONSTANTLY TELL LIES -I AM SORRY BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE BAD THINGS I HAVE DONE, BUT I AM GOING TO GET BETTER THIS TIME, I HAVE LOTS OF HELP AND I AM GOING TO DO IT.

What do I do now, I still love him I will always love him. He is living with the Hooker and then he stays with people from CA, I am trying to believe him, but it is very hard. She takes drugs too, why does he want to stay with her.

Can anybody help me to understand.


Pam (mother)


Comments for Daniel

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It's up to Daniel
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Pam,

Daniel has a very hard problem which it sounds like he is trying to fix. I'm assuming by CA you mean Cocaine Anonymous, which is an excellent program for cocaine addiction recovery. But you're correct to be concerned that he is still living with a known drug user.

My advice to you is to start going to Al-anon meetings at same location your son is going to CA meetings, if possible. Al-anon with explain the 12-step program to you so you will understand what your son is trying to do in CA. The more you understand about the disease of drug addiction the more you will be able to help your son.

Your son sounds like he was trying to make amends to you when he told you the truth. This is part of the 12-step process. The 12-steps are an excellent way to combat addiction but it won't happen over night, there are likely to be bumps in the road and relapse.

You may want to try to get your son into a treatment program if he is willing to go. Getting him out of his current environment for awhile can be VERY helpful and may help your son to get a better handle on his personal life.

Al-anon has the three "C's" that may help you get through this VERY difficult situation:

You didn't cause your son's addiction.

You Can't Control his behavior.

He Can't Cure his addiction he can only try to learn how to control it.

Good Luck!

Debbie


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