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Drugs and Alcohol

by Mariela
(Silver Spring, MD)

My brother and his girlfriend are both addicts and we are not sure what to do? Every day my parents suffer because of their abusive behavior towards each other and what I mean is that my brother and his girlfriend live with my parents and they also have a 3 year old that constantly watches them hit each other until they are bleeding?

My family is not sure what they are using as drugs and my parents can't sleep at night because they worry about their daughter and whatever else they are doing. Sometimes, my brother and his girlfriend both drink and use drugs at the same time and after they do that they become violent towards each other.

My mom's health is going down and is not able to sleep at night, my dad too. My older brother and sister have tried numerous time to talk to my brother but he tells us he does not need help and that he is not doing anything wrong.

I wish I had money to have a team or a group to come and take him to a rehab center to get better or something or help in any way. It is getting worse and worse specially for their little girl who is watching her parents fist fight until they are both covered in blood or hurt in some kind of way. I mean my parents are there but I am worried for my brother and my parents need help?

Any Advice?

Comments for Drugs and Alcohol

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Your parents need support.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Mariela,

There is an old saying in the recovery community, love the addict but hate the addiction. Based on the little bit of information you've given me, it sounds like your parents are allowing your brother and his girl to live at their house and use drugs.

You and your parents need to start going to Al-anon meetings at least twice a week immediately so you can learn about addiction. Addiction, regardless of which drug is used, attacks the brain and changes the addict into a different person that ONLY cares about the drug.

Once you begin attending Al-anon meetings, working the steps and finding a sponsor, you will learn how to help your brother to stop using.

You likely need to do an intervention and not allow your brother to stay at the house if he continues to use. You also likely need to call child protective services to protect your niece from your brother's abusiveness when he is using.

None of these are easy choices but Al-anon can help you to understand what you're dealing with and also help to make the best choices for all involved.

Good luck,


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