Friend admitted to crystal meth addiction. What next?
I have been casually dating a guy for 10 months. We live a few hours away from each other but try and meet up every other weekend. I feel it could and would be more often if it wasn't for his addiction.
He finally admitted to smoking meth 5 months ago. Said he only did it twice a month. He tried it a year ago and says he does it because he has a drinking problem and this makes him not drink and it's cheaper.
He never does around me but now when I think back, he's probably been high almost every time I've seen him. I never know at the time but he admits it afterwards.
The last time I was there he was sober but ended up doing cocaine both nights. I blew up on him. He finally admitted to having a problem and that's when he really opened up to me about all his issues. He has told me he is thinking about rehab.
He misses work. He goes missing for days won't reply to my texts or calls. Makes excuses why he can't see me. Then call out of the blue and make some crazy excuse like his phone stopped working. He is paranoid people are out to get him. Has very odd behaviors at times, almost like has an antisocial personality. Irregular heartbeat at times, has lost weight, goes 3-4 days without sleeping or eating.
He also deals with depression and anxiety.
I have threatened to leave several times if this behavior continued, and he begs me to stay with his charm. Since the cocaine incident, I refuse to go back to see him. I have recently made more stern boundaries with him. I have a feeling he's still using because he's went missing in action again.
I love this man but am ready to walk away. I can't watch him completely destroy his life anymore. But, I feel I am the only normal clean friend he has, so I want to be his support person. The problem is I live so far away from him and he's tempted everyday with his so called friends.
My question is.. Do I contact his mother whom I've never met before and let her know of his drug abuse? She is aware of his drinking but pretty sure she has no idea of the drugs. I feel this is my last resort before I can walk away in peace.
How would a mother react to a complete stranger saying her son is using meth, coke, pot, alcohol and whatever else he can get his hands on?
If someone has admitted to a problem, how do you encourage him to get treatment?
Do I continue to play tough love with him in hopes he'll come clean?
Or do I just walk away for now and tell him I'll be there for him when he decides to get help?
I am so confused.
- We're also launching four new
classes which will help you learn how to use motivation, affirmation
and encouragement to end addiction in yourself or a loved one. Each
class will focus on an evidence-based concept, explaining how to illicit positive
in yourself or in someone you love.
Ending addiction is all about
learning to change, and these classes will teach you how to do that right now. We will show you practical techniques that
research has shown to be effective for achieving change and successfully ending addiction.
We'll begin offering these classes this September through Learn-It-Live (Learn-It-Live is easy to use teaching tool and you don't need to download anything to use it). Click Register Now! below to join one of our classes.
Four new addiction classes:
- Addiction 101, a FREE 60 minute course introducing key recovery concepts, starting September 12.
- Why Motivation?, understanding motivation with encouragement to
change. Learn how to encourage motivation and facilitate positive
change. This 4-week, 60 minute class begins Wednesday, October 3, with a cost of
- Change Talk, a building-block for addiction recovery. This course
teaches us to recognize and encourage Change Talk, which research has
proven to lead to positive change. This 4-week, 60 minute class begins, Wednesday,
November 1 with a cost of $29.
- Effective Conversations,
learning to connect for recovery. This course teaches us how to have
productive, change-focused conversations, which research has shown,
facilitate positive change and addiction recovery. This 4-week, 60
minute class begins Wednesday, December 6 with a cost of $29.