by: Debbie Wicker

It’s no wonder you’re confused because addiction is very confusing. What is important to understand about addiction is that it ATTACKS the brain and convinces the attack that they must use. The addicts brain makes choices that we can’t understand and that confuse us because we aren’t an addict.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has a very serious long-term addiction problem with drugs and alcohol. Alcohol addiction is just as serious and deadly as other drug addictions so he must stop using everything if he wants to get better.

Deciding what you should do is a challenging issue. I would recommend you begin attending Al-anon meetings at least three times a week before you take any action related to his addiction.

Go to Al-anon, start working the steps, and find a sponsor who has helped their boyfriend to end an addiction. Then once you have better information formulate a game plan with your sponsor.

None of the choice you have in front of you are easy, but the more information and support you have for making the decisions the more likely you are to be able to help your boyfriend to end his addictions.

Good Luck,

Debbie

by: Anonymous

What about reaching out to his mom?
I have just warned him I was going to if things didn’t change. He said he was done with drugs. And drinking.. He says he could do on his own and if he relapsed one more time he would go to rehab. I don’t think he can do on his own but I said prove me wrong.

by: Anonymous

I told him this morning to call me when he’s ready to get help and I would stand by him 100 percent. Until then I have to walk away. He has now said he is ready to quit and he will do it this time. He says he will do on his own. I’m not so sure he can but I said ok prove me wrong. He said if he relapses he’ll go to rehab.
So do you think it’s wise to wait on contacting his mom and maybe if he uses again, to contact her? I warned him I was going to if he didn’t get help.
I am in process of finding a support group and in the meantime I will take one day at a time, stand my ground with him, and pray for his full recovery.

by: Debbie Wicker

Based on what you’ve told me, it sounds like he is just trying to buy time and continue to manipulate you. The chances of him quitting on his own is slim and none.

You BOTH need to start going to AA or NA meetings TODAY and start working the 12 steps. If he refuses to go to meetings and work the steps then he is not going to quit, period.

I can’t advise you about whether or not to tell his mom, you need to discuss it with an Al-anon sponsor before you decide. You need to go to Al-anon and start working the steps and find a sponsor. Then work with the sponsor (who has been where you’re at) and decide the best steps for you to take to help him but to also protect yourself from more pain.

If you knew how many people said they were going to quit on their own you realize that he is saying anything to avoid quitting. Working with Al-anon and getting help from others who have been where your at is the only that can save yourself from making many mistakes as you try to save your relationship.

Good luck,

Debbie

by: Anonymous

Well I ended up contacting his mom and she is also worried about him. She had no idea about the meth. We are meeting in 2 weeks to do an intervention. Please pray for us….

by: Debbie Wicker

Doing an intervention can be a great step. I will pray for you and all involved in the situation.

I would recommend that you decide which treatment center you want him to go into and get it all set up with them prior to the intervention. If he agrees to go, then you can take him immediately to treatment. Also, often treatment centers will help you to figure out the best way to get him into treatment if you call and ask them.

Good luck, I certainly hope he agrees to get treatment, meth is an awful drug,

Debbie