Help – Been with heroin addict for 5 years and he’s clean and now has cut ties with me.

by Sherri

(Rockford, IL)

I have been with a heroin addict for 5 years. I have searched all over on line for some answers to help me. He has been in and out of treatments/rehabs, in and out of jail, in and out of my life as well.

He has been with other women and comes back to me usually after 3-4 months and his life falls apart. His mother is his biggest enabler by sending him money and never believes me when I tell her he is using again.

This last time he was “clean” for 9 months and relapsed. He moved in and out, and then when he was homeless and had pawned everything he owns he contacted me for help – the usual. I know in my head not to go get him, but I went to get him anyway because I loved him.

He dried out at my home and went into a treatment facility which was free. The first 2 months he was there he was attentive and I met him to go to church and I even went to meetings with him. I was still angry and hurt but I tried to support him.

Then the end of October he started changing again. As if he was still on heroin but he wasn’t but he had the same mean non-caring attitude. We started fighting all the time. He called less and less. He came to my home on a pass Dec 7th for 2 days. That was the last time I saw him where he was decent to me.

I didn’t hear from him for a week and then when he called he was angry. He had stopped seeing his sponsor but was playing the game of rehab. When he was on passes all he wanted to do was play a play station. He changed from wanting to come home to wanting to get a job and stay at rehab for a month and then for a year.

He didn’t tell me this until his dad did and I asked him. He played mental games with me and his mom so that we would no longer talk. I didn’t hear from him on Christmas at all. I went to the treatment place and he said he didn’t love me anymore. Then I didn’t talk to him or see him till New Year’s day. I by stopped and he refused to come out and see me. I still have not talked or seen him.

Now, yesterday, I was served with an order of protection against me from him with all lies. I know it will be dropped but what is the point of all this? If he’s working the program is this normal behavior? He has told the other people, there in recovery, all kinds of lies about me. I haven’t called there or went there.

Any ideas or thoughts or suggestions or insight? This isn’t the first time he has tried to get an oop on me and usually it’s because he is using or he’s with another women or both. What happened to him? I don’t do drugs or drink. I am confused. I am hurt.

and Finally Remember:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
– Matthew 7:7-8

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