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How to keep opiate addicted spouse from visiting opiate addicted spouse that is getting rehab

by Sandra
(NC)

Our daughter is still in ICU and has been for 3 weeks. Multi-system failure and in the beginning we were given no hope from doctor that she would live. We were totally shocked about the addition and she did not show signs of drug use and doesn't look like she would use drugs.

3 weeks later we now have hope of her survival and her addicted husband wants to come to the hospital daily and see her. We now know he is a user but he will not seek help. We have talked with his family and they feel that he should visit and they should support each other.

We have tried to explain to them that the husband is not seeking help and we do not want the wife to be subjected to him daily. They have no place to live as they moved in with the us (wife's parents) 6 weeks prior to her system crash.

He had lost his job but we were told he had an accident at work and broke an expensive piece of equipment. He is her husband but they are toxic for each other. Thank God there are no children involved.

Any suggestions to keep him away until he recognizes he has a drug problem and gets rehab and a place to live and can prove he can support and take care of our daughter?

Comments for How to keep opiate addicted spouse from visiting opiate addicted spouse that is getting rehab

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What a horrific experience and my heart goes out to you.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Sandra,

I'm so glad that your daughter has survived such a near death experience. I COMPLETELY share your concerns about her husband being a VERY negative influence on your daughter because he is addict and still using.

Usually, getting addiction treatment is about hitting rock bottom and realizing that the ONLY choice is treatment. Heroin attacks the brain and convinces the addict they MUST use, and until THEY decide they want to quit nothing is likely to change.

I recommend that you begin attending Al-anon meetings TODAY to learn about addiction and also to learn how to avoid enabling your daughter's addiction in anyway at all.

There needs to be VERY clear rules about acceptable behavior going forward and keeping her from returning to the drug culture that she is likely immersed in.

You may also recommend that the parents of her husband that they begin going to Al-anon as well, so that they can also learn to understand the extreme severity of what they are dealing with.

During Al-anon meetings you'll work the 12 steps and study what your children need to do to end this terrible disease of addiction.

Addicted couples MUST be separated during treatment because they are likely a trigger for the others drug use. Al-anon can teach you about these issues and help you to figure out the difficult choices that you'll all need to make to help your children through this dreadful disease.

Good Luck,

Debbie

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