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Husband uses crack. What can I do?

by Anonymous
(IN)

My husband has been using crack for years. He kept it a secret from me for years. I knew he was doing something but because I never saw it, it was oblivious to me.

He finally started using it in our home in front of me about five or six years ago. I immediately starting telling him I did not like it and he said he was going to stop. In hindsight, I should have left or put him out then. It was driving me out of my mind.

Now he tells me that he can do what he wants because it is half his house too. He tells me that at least he doesn't do it in front of me anymore. It's in another room or the garage. I tell him that he is disrespecting our home.

Bad thing is if a certain buddy wants to come over and do it he lets him. I told him that it's bad enough that he does it, but when he allows someone else to get high at our house that makes it worse. He said that the guy is grown and can do what he wants. I try to convince myself that because he only does it two or three times a week it is not that bad plus it's not like he is selling our stuff to feed his habit.

He is very image conscious and does not want people to know he is using. We have a nice house and car and that is important to him. My husband is 54 yrs old and I think it is starting to catch up with him.

My thing is I am tired of the mood swings and I don't want to take care of him later in life. He doesn't think he has a problem so he will never admit it and try to get help. He tells me it is my problem.

I have begged him to get counseling. He is not the same person I married but then he tells me that I have changed. If he doesn't want to get help am I wrong for wanting to leave?

We have been together for 24 yrs but I AM TIRED!!! The thing is, he makes me think that something is wrong with me. I can't help that I don't want to be married to someone 55 or 60 yrs old that smokes crack even if it is a couple times a week. Am I wrong for that? I need to remain anonymous.

Comments for Husband uses crack. What can I do?

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No easy answer to your problem.
by: Debbie Wicker

Hello,

You're in a difficult situation that is not easy to solve. I highly recommend that you begin attending Al-anon meetings twice a week. Al-anon helps us to understand our loved ones addiction and also helps us decide what is best for us and our family.

Go to some meetings and find a couple of meetings where you feel welcomed and supported. Work the steps and try to find a sponsor who has been where you're at with their husband. Work with your sponsor to develop an action plan that helps to find a solution to your husband's drug abuse and to the conflict it's causing in your marriage.

Al-anon is completely anonymous and has great support for families who are facing the issues cause by drug and alcohol abuse and addiction.

Good luck,

Debbie

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