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I love him but 30 years of fighting his demons has taken a toll!

by Madge
(New York, NY)

I no longer want to be with my spouse regardless that he is and will always be the love of my life. But, I can no longer take the drug abuse, the lies, the stealing and not being around with the ones that love him.

I gave him a 2nd chance after I finally had it with his heroin abuse for years, which he hid really well for many years... he worked and helped in the home. But it started to catch up with him.

It eventually does, I stood by his 4 rehab attempts but, I finally turned around and left him. He did not do well ended up with a felony and bad relationships.

God gave us a 2nd chance to patch up things, he was sober for about 10 years. We made it official and got married. What was that? A few years later he is back to it, not heroin now painkillers. We have two children one whom is already 25 and the other one is 5 years old.

I can't put my princess through this, the eldest recalls the ugly, she even tells me mom not to expose her sister to it, and I totally agree.

I reached out to his family but all they do is turn there back on him and me too. I am all alone. I told him to accept it, he has a problem again. He denies that there is anything wrong with him. Yet, all the signs are there. I finally told him he has to get it together and leave.

I can't allow him to put me through the hell and hurt, the precious little child we have and only thing he did right. He is not a bad man when he is not under the influence or having his bipolar episodes. I will love him but, he doesn't love anyone not even himself.

He has reached to the point of posting things on FB trying to die and claiming he loves his family ( that pity.) I tried Al-non honestly that did not help me at all, the group were pretentious snobs. Don't get me wrong I went for 1 month and it wasn't helpful at all.

I pray to God I get out of this in one piece for my kids safety. They are my priority first, he is a grown man that needs to get his priority straight family first not drugs and friends whom all just want him to fail. Misery likes company I've told him plenty of times, but he does not see it.

God Give Me The Strength....

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Fighting demons...
by: Jerry...Tulsa,Ok.

I can relate to your life's misery. I am in the same boat with your husband. I'll be 44 years old in May, and have been an addict for over half my life. Living in the lies the misery. I've been married for 19 years and don't know why she is still with me.

Like you I'm the love of her life, but love will only take you so far. I have done just about everything out there, but got worse when I hurt my back at work and was put on opiates. Now the DEA is cracking down, I lost my Dr. and the pills are getting harder to find so I moved to heroin. As you said it's gotten way worst.

I've turned a complete 360 and turned into a person I don't even know... Lying,stealing, only caring about me, myself, and DRUGS.... I'm trying to get myself together. It's harder than it was.

I pray your life gets better and your husband can pull himself together, but it's going to be his choice. Sometimes it takes losing EVERYTHING we love, but whatever it takes is worth it in the long run... Keep on keeping on and take care of yourself and your princes...


Praying for you....
Jerry

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