by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Suzzette,

Addiction is EXTREMELY frustrating and I can see why you would be at the end of your rope. But, we are each wonderfully and uniquely made, and we each react uniquely to drugs, addiction and loss.

Sometimes leaving a spouse gets them to wake up and realize that they’re going to loose everything if they don’t get treatment and get control of their addiction. Other times, loosing a spouse causes them to sink deeper into their addiction and actually get worse, until hopefully at some point they realize that their addiction is stealing everything in their life from them. Then they agree to get treatment and to begin the process of moving into addiction recovery and learning how to have a happy joyous and free life without addiction.

Please consider going to Al-anon meetings and working the 12-step program. At Al-anon you will learn about your husband’s addiction and also hopefully learn how to help him to realize that he has a problem. Your goal through Al-anon will be to have him become willing to start turning his life away from drugs and back towards you.

Good luck,

Debbie

by: Anonymous

Counseling or his own insight is the only answer for him. If his addiction is worse because you leave it’s not your fault.

I have done every drug there is and in every form. I have never been addicted to marijuana or alcohol but did large amounts at one time that would make people believe differently.

People use drugs for different reasons. For example, I drank a gallon of vodka a day to deal with a spouse who drank and I couldn’t stand him unless I was drunk.

Once I left him I don’t drink anymore. I smoke pot to relax, reduce anxiety, socially, to sleep. It was a large amount constantly. Now I love it but it’s done in moderation to the point it never shows up on drug tests. Which brings me to hard core drugs, they reduce pain and numb your feelings. I was addicted to crack.

I was unhappy and trying to escape the fact I was newly very disabled physically. Once I realized that, my $1200 a day habit was over. I was doing excessive heroin because it was cheaper than pain meds. Pain meds more effective.

Withdrawal is a joke compared to my daily pain. He needs to find why he does marijuana and decide for himself if it simply makes him happy. Maybe he has a chemical imbalance that doesn’t allow him to be naturally happy as he should be. Or maybe your relationship or life in general is too stressful and that’s the only coping mechanism he knows how to do. Good luck! I left my husband for heroin addiction and he is taking his pain meds properly and all is better after he did extensive counseling.