I'm a Wife, Granddaughter, Sister, Aunt..I'm also a drug addict!
(Baytown, TX USA)
I was abandoned by both of my birth parents so my amazing grandparents(dad's parents) raised me since I was 2 months old. They gave me shelter, endless amounts of love, of course spoiled me rotten. I was a lil bratty but was taught to respect my elders & they made me into the woman I am today.
They tried their best to make up for the love I never got from the ones who made me but no matter how much love they gave me I still yearned for that love your parents are supposed to have for their children. I still to this day don't know what that love feels like.
It affects my everyday life in so many ways. I feel if they can't love me then who hell would ever love me. Besides my issues with them I've done drugs since I was in junior high. I just had fun with friends and it wasn't until I was 18 that I had toe surgery, got run over by 4 wheeler, got implants. Then I had complications from those which have included 8 surgeries with more still today cus there not right so I got hooked on the pills.
I was 18 just newly married to a controlling mentally abusive husband. By 20 I got divorced (yay) then began dating the love of my life who I wanted 2 spend forever with & didn't care if he was a drug dealer. I was in love w/him but at that time I loved the pills more & he tried controlling my habit by giving me just a few for a whole day but I don't like to be told how many I can have so I just found ways to steal them. Makes you do desperate things.
Anyways, after we broke up I started drinking vodka all day everyday waking up to having to have a drink just 2 stop the shakes, plus cocaine on top the pills. I got to be 86 lbs & blacking out ending up in landlords yard with pants down & my car halfway in ditch my family had enough & asked me if wanted to go to rehab I didn't hesitate for 1 second I went.
Did 30 days(all insurance would cover) & got out did good, got my old job back was doing great but I wasn't strong enough & got back in pills but was done with vodka & coke.
I've been doing this back & forth getting sober,relapse, on suboxone, get off suboxone then relapse. I'm married again but he never did drugs so it's been really hard to deal with being around someone that doesn't understand, who throws it in my face, talks down to me like he can't believe you do drugs. "Just stop what's big deal".