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Lost everything over opiates

by Kay
(Georgia)

Im a 27 year old female and I have been addicted to pain pills for about 4 years now. I experimented with opiates a little bit through my high school years but I would only take a couple here and there, not much or often at all. I would go to parties and drink, though, every weekend and before I knew it I was drinking everyday.

I was depressed and I couldn't stop. It was the only thing that made me feel better. When I turned 21, I met the most amazing man that I ended up marrying 2 weeks after my 22 birthday. I was so happy with him that I didn't feel the need to drink everyday anymore. I was doing great and he never drank and that helped a lot also.

We were offered Lortabs from a friend of ours and we accepted the offer. We would take Lortabs and Percocets occasionally, maybe a couple times a week. Before we knew it it became an everyday thing. When we would try to stop taking them we would have horrible withdrawals.

We didn't want to have to go through the withdrawals so we continued taking them on a daily basis. We were hooked. He was unaware that I was buying and taking more than he knew about. A lot of times I was using HIS money to get my extra ones. I became a liar and a thief. I lost my job but didn't tell my husband because he would get so upset. He worries about everything anyway and I didn't want to add anymore stress to his life.

I had to come up with ways to get money for pills and so he would think I was still getting a paycheck. I pawned everything I could, I stole a watch, a GPS, and a blank check from my brother that I got cashed. I also found the combination to my parents safe and over the course of a month I stole around $3,000 from them (I'm bad about getting high and losing stuff and I ended up losing my wallet with about $600 in it, which I stole from my parents).

So, I've lost my job, pawned everything I could get my hands on that was worth anything, and stole everything I could to support my habit and to play off the fact that I wasn't working. My parents found out it was me who was stealing from them and kicked us out (we were living with them at the time) and they have disowned me.

I never thought I'd be this person. I was such a nice, honest person and the drugs turned me into a stranger. I've denied everything to my husband but I just wish I had the courage to tell him the truth about everything. It's getting so hard remembering all the lies I've told everyone. I told myself I'd never take oxycodone and here I am on 60 milligrams at this very moment.

I want to get clean sooooo very bad but it is so hard I just want to be happy like I used to be. My husband loves me so much and I love him and I hate lying to him more than anything.

I just want a normal, sober, happy long life. If I keep going like I'm going, I will be dead or in jail within a month or two. I hate myself.

Comments for Lost everything over opiates

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Stay strong
by: Anonymous

Hey,

I'm sorry that addiction is plaguing your life right now. I am not a user but I have lived with and loved an opiate addict for 3 years. I'm only 25. He is currently incarcerated.

The funny thing is that reading your story helped me understand him a little better and I know from experience that the things you do really hurts the ones you love more than you all realize sometimes and that the truth will set yall free but it's hard to face the truth.

I can only advise you to seek help there are a lot of free resources out here turn to someone and God most importantly. My husband was seeking help and two days before he was going into rehab he was arrested for stealing. We always wondered why because in two days he was going to get the help he needed.

Well, in shorthand, a few months after he was arrested the news reported that in our area bad dope was going around and a lot of people had recently passed from overdose. His brother, his closet loving relative, was one of them and ironically no one knew that he was using heroin. We knew he drank and did molly every now and then, but not heroin.

So, I kinda look at him being arrested as God saving him from himself. You are going through a lot, forgive yourself and try to come clean and sincerely apologize to your loved ones. You are still a good person in there and you can come out of this, many people have and you will to. I wish you the best of luck hun.

Get through one day at a time
by: Jacquie

Hello, I read yr story and just wanted to say thank you so much for posting your story, and say how courageous you are and honest to share such personal story, thank you.

I hope you are able to get some help and support as you should not be doing this on your own. God bless you, you are worth it xxx ☺

possible relapse
by: Anonymous

I am a college freshman. I have experimented with oxys in high school as well as hydrocodone, hydromorphine, klonopin, and Xanax. I used to take up to 30mg of oxy, which is a lot considering the fact that I was a 110lb female.

I used to do lean with alcohol. When I stopped taking oxys for a few days I would be physically sick. Eventually I stopped after my little sister found me foaming out of my mouth after cough syrup, codeine, alcohol, and kpin. I wasn't hospitalized and my parents didn't know and still don't know about this.

Now, that I am dorming at college, I am tempted to start using pills again. I know it will end badly if I start, but that's all that has been on my mind. I am lost.

We Do Recover
by: Anyonymous

Oh my.. your story touched me, deeply. Because I too, am addicted to Oxys... but am coming up on 6 months clean soon. You are not a bad person, the drugs take everything from you and we end up emotionally bankrupt.

This is a very difficult process, but most definitely doable ... I began starting to get clean in February of this year... had 2 small relapses ... because I wasn't sticking to my program.

I am a member of Narcotics Anonymous... and have met amazing people there who have all experienced what you and I have. Find a meeting. It's definitely worth it to learn how to live again... get into a detox center to come off the drugs safely ... then stick to the program. I promise it works if you work it. Good luck to you Love. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Have faith in God
by: Anonymous

Trust God and miracles will work...Your dreams will come true...Just trust God

reply
by: Anonymous

Hi,
I don't know if u will ever read this but i am just getting off pain killers and meth. I was so scared to tell my wife and family but i did and it felt like a thousand pounds lifted off. i got some meds to help with the withdrawals and getting a counselor and go to meetings.

I think about the drugs all the time but i know it will get easier with time and i know some days will be very very hard but i know one thing that every day i don't use is a day that i don't have to lie to everyone that i can put my money towards my kids and wife.

I thought drugs made me happy, well i know now that it was a false happiness. I'm starting to find real happiness in my kids and my wife and life. Every day is hard but it's not as hard as life on drugs.

I hope u can find the strength to come out and tell ur family what's going on and i hope that they will help and support u. But i know one thing and that is until ur ready to be sober no rehab or anything will help u. I hope u get sober bc it's so much better and ur so much happier but its not easy but u can do it... I have faith in u.

Thank you for your story
by: Brittany

I can relate to a lot of your story. I am 25 years old and addicted to lortabs. I have been using for 3 years and the last 2 months I went from taking 10 Lortab 10mg a day to 20. I have stolen pills and money from people I care about. It makes me feel like a dirty thief.

I have never stolen anything until the pills. I would never have any money to buy things like groceries. I even have a side job I do on the weekends to earn extra money; and still it was never enough. I was too scared to ask for help from my husband because I thought he was going to divorce me, so I kept it to myself.

He found out almost a week ago, not because I decided to tell him but because I went to someone's house just so I could steal some pills. 20 minutes later, I get a call from him. I hate how he found out but, also I am glad he knows and seems like a big weight has been lifted.

I am still tapering off, yesterday I only had 6 which is a huge accomplishment considering I was taking 20 last week. I hope that I can stop taking pills in 2 weeks. I don't even remember what drug-free feels like anymore. All I know is I was happy before so hopefully I kick this before the new year.

I know it is going to be a life long battle but at least I still have my husband helping through it. Reading all these stories makes me realize that there are probably 100s, 1,000s of people that are going through the same thing I am.

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