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Loving a heroin and crack addict .

by Jeffrey
(Bethlehem, PA USA)


I have been in love with a crack and heroin addict for a few years. I've tried to get her to stop many times and it just always fails and I enable her.

About 9 months ago I couldn't take it anymore and attempted suicide. I was in the hospital and rehab for a few months and stopped all communication with her. I then suffered a heart attack and have been recovering ever since.

About four months ago I stated communicating with her by phone. She told me she was clean and I so wanted to believe. I started sending her money. We had been planning on getting a place to live and being together.

She always seems to have one story or another why things were bad and she needed money for this or that. I continued to help her, but became more and more suspicious. This past week I confirmed several of her stories were lies. She stopped calling for about four days. So I reached out to a supposed friend that I could call to see if she was ok.

The story from this person started to really get out there saying she was clean and backing all of my girlfriend's stories. We had only been texting and I felt it was really my girl using another phone. I asked her to call and she wouldn't.

Finally my girlfriend calls from her original phone and continues to lie even though I confront her with several of her stories being lies. She then continues texting me say how much she wants me and trying to seduce me. I keep responding to her asking her to be honest. She will not admit to her lies and keeps building on them. For the first time I held firm and would not send her any money even though she said she was going to overdose on pills.

It kills me that she does this. I love her so much and want to give her everything I have. But I feel like such a fool. I know she loves the drugs more than anything and I don't know how to help her. I am so depressed and I don't know how to go on myself. I miss her and am worried.

I'm sure she is dope sick and she will probably do anything to get her fix. It tears me up inside.
I know in a day or two I'll hear from her and she will be again for money even though she probably won't say it's for drugs. It seems worse this time since she is inventing people to lie. It's a sad life.

Comments for Loving a heroin and crack addict .

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Please consider going to Al-anon or Celebrate Recovery.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jeffrey,

Enabling anothers addiction often seems like the only choice, because you love them and they won't stop and you want to protect them from themselves. But, as you know, the problem with enabling an addict is that you may be facilitating their addiction or even making it worse. It becomes a VERY vicious cycle that many have not been able to break.

Please consider attending either Al-anon meetings or I would also recommend Celebrate Recovery. Here is a brief description of a Celebrate Recovery Group at Life Church in your area:


"Celebrate Recovery

The purpose of the Celebrate Recovery ministry is to fellowship and celebrate God´s healing power in our lives through the "8 Recovery Principles."

This experience allows us to "be changed." We open the door by sharing our experiences, strengths and hopes with one another. In addition, we become willing to accept God´s grace in solving our lifes´ problems.

By working and applying these Biblical principles, we begin to grow spiritually. We become free from our addictive, compulsive and dysfunctional behaviors. This freedom creates peace, serenity, joy and most importantly, a stronger personal relationship with God and others. As we progress through the program we discover our personal, loving and forgiving Higher Power – Jesus Christ, the one and only true Higher Power.

If you are new to recovery, we encourage you to attend Newcomers101.

We meet every Monday night. Please contact us for the location.

7:00 - 8:00pm Main Meeting

8:00 -9:00 pm Small Groups

9:00 -10:00 pm Meet and Greet

For More information contact Pastor Fred Estrella 610-434-3117 x 14 or fred@lifechurchlv.org"


You need all the support you can get to help yourself and to help your girl friend to end the co-dependent cycle you're in and Celebrate Recovery is a wonderful place to start.

Good Luck,

Debbie

Another lie!
by: Jeffrey

Well, as I suspected she called me the following day and said she had a bad night. Again, she asked me to send her money for the bus so we could be together. The whole time until she got the money she responded to my calls right away.

Several hours had passed and she should have arrived. She finally calls me and says she had gotten on the wrong bus and wanted me to tell her how to get to me. I asked her to tell me exactly where she was and her answer was ambiguous. I knew her next request was going to be that she needed more money for another bus. Before she could get the words out, I said that I would have Uber pick her up. She started to stammer and the started to say she was already coming back to where she started from when moments before she at bus drop off. She then hangs up and texts me saying to just text her what bus she should take and that Uber is too expensive. I tell her to send me her location because will not be sending anymore money.

Another day has passed and I have not heard from her nor know how to reach her.
I appreciate your advise and would like to get her into counseling and also attended meetings myself. Unfortunately I am still in a rehab and she still won't admit to having a problem or lying.

I do pray to God for help for her and myself. I know I am hurting and I am sure she is in another way.

Hope for healing
by: R Johnson

Your story is heartbreaking and all too common among those who have a loved one that is involved with substance abuse and dependence. Once she is ready, there are many good treatment centers available to help her cope with her addiction and grow toward a healthier lifestyle.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
by: Anonymous

NO ONE SHOULD FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU HAD IT ALL, A FAMILY, A WIFE WHO SUPPLIED YOU WITH EVERYTHING FROM MONEY, FAMILY, AND A BUSINESS WHICH YOU RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE GROUND. NOW YOU WANT EVERYONE TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU LIKE SOME SORRY LITTLE PUPPY DOG, WELL GUESS WHAT JACKASS SOME PUPPIES WANDER OUT INTO THE STREET AND GET HIT BY CARS, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE ONE OF THEM.

YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE THE REAL STORY OF HOW YOUR WIFE DIED AND HOW YOU WERE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR RUNNING HER FAMILY'S BUSINESS INTO THE GROUND. NOW YOUR IN LOVE WITH A CRACK ADDICT. YOU WANT TO GIVE EVERYTHING TO A DRUG ADDICT WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU ONLY FOR THE LITTLE BIT OF MONEY YOU THINK YOU HAVE. YOUR A TAKER, ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

NO ONE FEELS FOR YOU, YOU CREATED THE SITUATION YOUR IN. YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LIE IN IT. ALL THOSE YEARS OF SUPPORT FROM YOUR WIFE AND HER FAMILY AND THIS JUST SHOWS WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU REALLY ARE. YOU JUST DISGUISED IT BETTER BACK THEN TO GET WHAT YOU WANTED. YOUR A DEGENERATE GAMBLER, AND DRUG ADDICT. GO AHEAD TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR DRUG USE.

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- Matthew 7:7-8






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