Get Help Now!  

  800.815.3910 

  Available 24/7   

The road to recovery starts here! Trusted, confidential help available 24/7. Speak with an addiction treatment specialist anytime. Please call us now at 800-815-3910!




My Anonymous Confession

by Waste of life
(UK Brighton)

What you are about to read is ridiculously and the first confession and admittance of my secret self. I am 27 and live in Brighton. I have a large group of friends, although recently I have created a purposeful distance between me and them.

I had a good childhood and my parents bought me up to be polite, well spoken and gave me an educated informed introduction to life. What I want to make clear is. There is no childhood trauma and no event in my history to blame.

I was never damaged and I am fully responsible. I work. I mostly make effort to present myself well (in the private of my own home I don't bother at all i don't even wash unless someone else is gonna see me).

I have a vague innocence about me. I know this because I've lost count of how many times I've gotten away with stuff because people "knew I wasn't that type of girl" this has even been said by people within five minutes of meeting me. I'm basically living an average young life in Brighton except seemingly even more healthy as i never drink.

No one except my girlfriend and two friends that unfortunately had to be informed have a clue that I am living with a very severe heroin and crack addiction behind the intentionally pulled blinds. It's been undeniably serious for two years now and I've been receiving 'help' and been on a prescription replacement for about a year on and off. I got almost clean once for three months when I moved cities, but in time I found contacts there and relapsed.

It's turned my entire life into a full time act. Endless lies excuses and ridiculous stories to cover things you would think impossible. My family doesn't know. I don't ever want my parents to know. I'm almost sure they'd be already divided, they don't want to know because they don't ask questions that they should.

Recently I've lost control of my secret. My debts have spiraled and i keep loosing jobs. It's all falling apart like it was destined to. I have never been so lost that i don't know what to do next. I don't want to come clean. I don't want to be judged. I don't want to disappoint. I don't want to embarrass of even disgust. The last thing I want is an intervention. I don't want to stop. I don't have a career or any REAL focus or anything really.

Confronting my real life would be hideous and sadly in some peoples eyes I'd rather continue putting off life in a haze of snowballs. That's it really but shhhh... Brighton's a small city. Word spreads fast!

Comments for My Anonymous Confession

Click here to add your own comments

What do you want?
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear waste of time,

I have one question for you:

What DO you want?

It's pretty clear that you aren't happy as an addict but it is equally clear that you don't want help to quit. You're in a difficult spot. You don't like what you are and you know your life is on hold but you also don't want help to change your life?

You have taken the first step of the 12-steps:

"We admitted that we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable."

The question is are you willing to consider step two:

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

I recommend you go to an NA or AA meeting in Brighton and find out. The 12-steps really work and at 27 you have a lot of living to do that addiction will take from you if you let it.

Addiction effects the brain so that what you think you're thinking is really the drug controlling you and controlling your brain.

The fact that you view you story as a confession shows me that you know you need help, I recommend you start today to get the help you need!

Good Luck,

Debbie


Dear waste of life
by: Anonymous

Just want you to know that you ARE NOT a waste of life. It seems like everything is falling apart, like there is no where to go, that you may feel like you have gone to far. But you have not. ITS NEVER TOO LATE. I don't know if you know God.

Maybe you do and don't like Him, or not sure if you can trust, Him. But you can trust Him. I don't know your real name, but God does, He made you and He has a very special plan for your life.

In the Bible in the New Testament (second half of the Bible) book called Philippians it says in chapter 4 verse number 13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Also another book in the Bible in the Old testament (first section) the book called Ezekiel chapter 36 in verse number 25 through 26 it says, "Then I will put clean water on you, and you will be clean. I will make you clean from all your false gods. I will give you a new heart and out a new spirit within you. I will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

Also in the New Testament (second section)of the Bible in the book of 2Corinthians chapter 5 verse 17 it says, "For if a man belongs to Christ, he is a new person. The old life has gone. New life has begun."


Life is short
by: Romanian guy

I don't believe in God, not one bit. But i believe in myself, and i know there are people in this world that love me and for them I managed to kick my addiction. I am still fighting it, it's not easy. I hope we will find happiness because I think we are all searching for it one way or the other.

I won't tell u what to do because I think u are the only one who knows what's best for yourself. I just hope you find happiness in this life. Farewell stranger!

Would you like to help free others while freeing yourself?
by: Anonymous

Hello! I hope with all my heart that you are doing better than you were previously. I know it sounds like you truly are in a pickle, but I'll have you know that recovery is not impossible! It is not easy, but it is definitely possible.

I am currently writing a research paper on why books should not be banned. In particular, why books pertaining to drugs (in my case, I chose Go Ask Alice)should not be prohibited in schools.

My argument is that we need to expose children to these concepts because we need to let them understand the horrible effects they can have on one's life. I wanted to beg for your permission to use a quote that you said: "I don't want to disappoint. I don't want to embarrass… The last thing I want is an intervention. I don't want to stop. I don't have a career or any REAL focus or anything really. Confronting my real life would be hideous and, sadly in some peoples eyes, I'd rather continue putting off life in a haze of snowballs,"

I do not want to use a quote of yours if you do not want me to, but the whole point of my paper is basically to prevent kids from turning to drugs. Banning books should NOT be a thing. Kids should understand how demanding drugs truly are! So, if you are okay with me inserting your passionate quote in my research paper to help aide teens in drug awareness, please notify me ASAP!!

I would love to have you be a part of something so much greater than you and I. I know you are rundown, you feel hopeless, confused, flustered... Drugs are so treacherous on the human brain it is EXTREMELY disturbing. I want you to know that there is help out there.

I know you do not want help, but most drug addicts do not want help at first. However, if you can identify how drugs are impacting your life (which you already have done) and you want your life to improve somehow, I urge you- with all my heart and sole- to start your recovery TODAY. It is not too late.

You are young and you have so much waiting for your. Your future does not have to be ominous. It can be exciting! Stimulating you more than any drug ever could! I have faith that you will chose the right path, deary.

My email is homeworkforjenna on gmail if you would like to send me a response on any of the above mentioned topics.

Click here to add your own comments

Do you have a question or story? It's easy to ask your question or submit your story. How? Simply click here to return to Drug Addiction Solution.





and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8






Recent Articles

  1. Drug Addiction -- Moving into Recovery!

    Nov 24, 17 09:08 AM

    The key to dealing with drug addiction is the right information. If you've ever wondered how drug addition impacts your life this site is for you.

    Read More

  2. Addiction Treatment Programs

    Nov 23, 17 09:30 AM

    Addiction treatment programs have to be unique to fit the needs of the individual, if the first one doesn't work try another until it does..

    Read More

  3. Addiction and Divorce: When Is Enough, Enough?

    Nov 22, 17 08:42 AM

    After years of dealing with a husband or wife who is continually drinking or struggling with drug and/or alcohol use you may feel like you have had enough.

    Read More


Follow on Twitter or Google+