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My dad got me addicted to opiates.

by Danielle

My dad started giving me hydro-codons about 18 years ago. I have been addicted ever since. All of the pills he gives me are from people he knows or doctors he gets a script from and let's me get filled.

I don't go to doctors. I don't like them. He has helped me on this roller coaster and at first it was fun. Now I feel like it isn't and it's killing me physically, but also in every other way imaginable.

It has become a control thing with my dad over me. I take too many he says and I'm costing him money. Of course I am. I AM AN ADDICT. He says just take 3 a day and I take 10 and then here we go.

He says what the hell is wrong with you. I can't find as many pills as you take and I don't have money for this. You keep me from getting clothes for myself or for Ryley, my son, or you won't have food in the house. Is that worth it he says. Nope.

I need help. I know it. I just can't see it until after my son graduates high school in May and my daughter gets married in June. I am so ready to be done with this. More than my dad is I think. Then a big part of his control of me will be GONE and I can't imagine how good that will feel. Has to be better than this.

I don't even know what sending this will do. He brought me by percosets today and made me feel like the scum of the earth for it. Since then I've just cried and stayed in bed all day and taken pain pills. Some life. Whoever reads this, at least someone gave a damn enough to. Thanks.

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Your dad may not understand addiction?
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Danielle,

So glad you decided to submit your story and write down how you're feeling and what you want to do to end your addiction.

It sounds like your dad thinks you should be able to limit what your taking to a few pills every few days. For some people who take opiates that's possible. It's just like some people can drink alcohol two or three days a week and not need any more and also not become an alcoholic.

What your dad doesn't understand about addiction is that God makes each of us uniquely. This means that each of us respond uniquely when we abuse drugs. Some of us can take a few a week and never need more. Others of us take an opiate and need more and more everyday and we must keep increasing what we're taking otherwise we go into withdrawal.

It sounds like you're more in the second catagory, which may be why you feel so terrible all of the time. You're constantly in the beginning stages of opiate withdrawal and it's likely to keep getting worse.

Even though you're not yet ready to quit, I highly recommend you begin attending AA or NA meetings in your area ASAP. Start working the 12 steps so that you will begin to understand your addiction and also begin the process of ending it.

You are killing yourself and the sooner you begin the process of ending your addiction the better. Once you decide to quit you can go to a doctor and they can help you to manage the withdrawal symptoms. Once you're fully through withdrawal you should begin feeling much better and be able to end the control your father has on you.

Good luck and again thanks for sharing your story with us,

Debbie

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