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My husband is a heroin addict

by Lola
(Connecticut)

I am happy and in love with my man. We have a loving relationship. He told me he was a heroin addict...i thought he meant WAS...a month after we started dating he told me he was using and he needed me to take his money and what signs to look for to help him stop.

He started taking Suboxone and i thought we were good...smart handsome active I had no idea he was still using....two months later he went away for a week to "get better" he came out looking so good healthy and clean.

His addiction is over 20 years old. How could a man in his 40's strong and smart be addicted to heroin? I talked to a few of his family members ....well it didn't look good. The thing with him is he knows he has this addiction and tells me when I confront him but still does it ....not everyday but it's still there ....he controls it but still uses...

I have talked to him about it and he knows it's wrong but when I asked him why he does it he says it's just his thing ...he doesn't drink or go out ...he works full time gives me his money but still wants it...

Now I can tell when he's using, he acts immature and he is aggressive...not violent but he avoids looking at me.....he acts odd not his normal self.

It took me a long time to identify it because i have never been around it. I have never seen him hit bottom but his family members said he has....that i am a positive role model and none of his ex-women were clean, they were all addicted to some type of drug.

Is there a way for a person to still use and live a somewhat normal life?

I believe he is doing it....but what worries me is that it will get worse...and i do not want to start to build a life to have it destroyed. I want him to come out of this by himself but i don't know if he can...

Comments for My husband is a heroin addict

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He is what's know as a functioning addict.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Lola,

So very sorry to hear that your husband is heroin addicted. Addiction attacks the brain and is OFTEN a fatal disease. But each of us is completely unique. Our brains respond uniquely to each drug that we use. Therefore, it's hard to say how long your husband will be able to continue to use heroin and still lead a relatively "normal" life.

With most people, they develop a tolerance to heroin and need to use more and more to feel "normal". That's when the addiction takes over their life.

It sounds like your husband periodically goes into for detox and treatment and then begins using again. This may be how he is "managing" his addiction, so that he uses less right after treatment and then uses more and more and when it gets out of control he goes into treatment again.

From his prospective this may be "working" but it is a VERY dangerous game. Heroin is illegal and any miscalculation of his part will likely lead to disaster.

I would recommend that you begin attending Al-anon meetings twice a week and working the 12 steps. Al-anon will teach you much more about addiction and may help you to decide the best course of action for you and your husband.

Good Luck,

Debbie

No
by: Greg

At some point you do hit bottom, and it can happen many times if you continue to use. Not to mention that it's tough on your organs, your liver especially filtering all that narcotic, it will takes its toll.

I also am on Suboxone, but you can't do both, you are either a recovering addict or full blown, no in between because our lives revolve around making sure we score and no one will get in the way of that, a fix while dope sick will trump love, doesn't mean he doesn't love you but when you're hurting and know what it takes to kill it you will. Not too mention getting caught with it is very illegal, felony illegal, functioning or not if you get busted and are convicted that is permanent on your record for life to be applied on to any form asking that question- for another job.

Plus if he is getting Suboxone from a Dr and pisses dirty a few times could be cut off and then H will be his only go to, Suboxone is meant to help stay clean, not maintenance to avoid getting sick while in between scoring, and if your only dealer gets busted then what, then you have to go to the means of taking the chance of going out and finding it, could be an undercover sting, a setup for robbery, or getting pulled over driving in the a good known for drug sales(possession).

I was a functioning addict too, never had a girlfriend that used, been to rehab twice for 30 day stay both times, and was given the option to get clean because of I failed the next drug test I would be fired-I lost that job.

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