by: Debbie Wicker

We all want to believe that our loved one is telling us the truth when they say that they’re no longer using. But trust is only earned after a significant period of time. It is good that we want to believe them, but we must protect ourselves and them from verifiable evidence that they’re telling us the truth.

I recommend that you ask your husband to do a hair follicle drug test that can be administered at a local testing center. This test will show any drug use in the last three months. If that test is clean then you can begin to believe him. He should then agree to be re-tested for the next year every three months. His response to this request should give you a lot of insight as to where he is at with his addiction recovery.

There are many excellent support groups for both of you in the Indianapolis area. I HIGHLY recommend that you encourage your husband to attend groups with you. Addiction recovery statistics significantly improve if both husband and wife are attending meetings and working the 12 steps at the same time.

The first support group I recommend for both of you is Celebrate Recovery(CR). Here is description of it from it’s founder John Baker:

“The purpose of Celebrate Recovery is to fellowship and celebrate God’s healing power in our lives through 8 Recovery Principles. By working and applying these Biblical principles, we begin to grow spiritually. We become free from our addictive, compulsive and dysfunctional behaviors. This freedom creates peace, serenity, joy and most importantly, a stronger personal relationship with God and others. As we progress through the program we discover our personal, loving and forgiving Higher Power – Jesus Christ, the one and only true Higher Power.”

from Pastor John Baker

I’m not sure where you live in Indianapolis so here is a link that shows all of the CR meetings in your area:
http://www.celebraterecoveryindiana.org/store-locator/

You should also consider AA and Al-anon meetings for you both. At these meetings be sure to work the 12 steps and attend at least two times a week. Here is a link to help you find some meetings

Al-anon Meetings http://www.in-alanon.org/District_Lists/district_09_mtg.htm

Good luck to both you and your husband as you battle this terrible disease,

Debbie