Need help with my lying bf

by Stacy
(CT)

I have multiple herniated disks in my neck and had back surgery last year. I take painkillers; Roxycodone and Fentanyl patches.

My bf has convinced me that I really don't need all my medication and to share my pills with him since he has multiple ailments due to a past car accident.

He said he cannot get them himself right now due to not having insurance. So I have stupidly been giving him almost all my pills to help him, meanwhile I am suffering. Last night I gave him my bottle of pills. I had just filled my script for my Fentanyl patches and left them in the car while at dinner.

He came up with an excuse for needing to go to the car and stole 3 patches from me. I discovered it soon after. I just snapped and started to yell at him because I felt so betrayed, I mean I am helping him and he takes from me. He denied stealing from me. He actually called me a junkie for checking my box of patches before I got home.

He told me he "took" them to help me. He felt if he held onto them he could divvy them out to me when I really needed them. I ended up feeling horrible and he ended up leaving because I disrespected him and didn't trust him.

He told me how horrible I am for the way I acted and needed some time to cool off and think if he could even forgive me. I said things I did not mean such as telling him I never want to see him again.

I don't know what to do, I feel horrible and love him so much? I feel he is right and I am the one that is nothing more than a junkie.