Should I confront my best friend about drinking?


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Should I confront my best friend about drinking?

Do I confront my best friend about her drinking my alcohol that was hidden/removed so she could not have access to it?

My best friends drinking problem has come to light since her husband committed suicide a year ago and she got a DUI in the last 2 months. She and her 11 year old daughter moved in w/ me because of health issues w/ my friend, that later
shed light on her drinking problem.

I made a house rule that she is not allowed to drink or be drunk in my home, mostly to provide a safe environment for her daughter and my 4 year old, plus I do not want to live w/ an alcoholic or deal with it in my home since I have lived w/ them, both my father and step father are alcoholics.

I hid the open liquor I had in my house but recently while I was on vacation, my friend found it and pretty much consumed all of it, 5-6 1/2 gallon bottles of hard liquor (not all full bottles, but still?). I want to confront her on it but not sure if this is the best plan.

I want to confront her for many reasons:

1. – she drank my booze knowing it was hidden from her and why I hid it.

2. she needs to be accountable to her drinking and by not confronting her she may think she got away w/ it.

3. I want her to know how her drinking is affecting me, us and our relationship, I’m know the person she is lying too and avoiding.

4. I’m mad that I am trying to do so much and she is lying to me and not telling me she slipped and drank the booze, instead she is being sneaky and deceitful.

In the end I want to do what is best for you, it’s not about the money for the liquor, but her being accountable and honest w/ herself on how big her problem really is.

Any help is appreciated.

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by: Ned Wicker


I appreciate your concern for your friend, but understand that her drinking is her problem and you can’t allow that to become your problem. I like the idea of setting expectations, and there needs to be rules, boundaries and limitations.

However, as a friend, helping her out, you may in the long run be enabling her behavior. Give Al-Anon a try and seek their support and guidance. They are people just like you and they understand. One thing you can’t let happen is for her to control your home.

Her disease will need more and more, and as the disease progresses, you and everyone else will mean less and less to her. You need to get her some help, but first get some support for yourself.


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