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What to believe?

by Sandra

I have fallen in love with a heroin addict who is older than me and I don't know what to do? At the start everything was fine, he's on methadone and he was after entering himself into rehab and he is still going. But, I'm worried, because everyday he would always be on the phone to me but the last few days since I have given him money to pay of his debts (because I didn't want his family harmed) I've had no contact from him.

My friends are able to tell me he's OK but I'm afraid he's using again. I can't go asking his friends if he's back using because people don't know we are together. A few weeks ago he had big lumps on his arms as if he was injecting but before I said anything he told me they were from working out in the garage.

I don't know what to believe? I don't know much about heroin and I don't know what to believe?

Comments for What to believe?

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Trust is earned one day a time
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Sandra,

The question it feels like you're asking is can you trust him and how do you know when or if you can trust him?

Trust is earned one day at a time based on appropriate actions, and until trust is earned it is usually not a good idea to trust an addict. Asking you for money so that his family isn't "harmed" and then not contacting you after you've just helped him is not a good way to build trust.

The lumps in his arm can be caused by injecting heroin, but also may have another cause. I've never heard of "working out" causing lumps, but I suppose it is possible.

Please consider joining an Al-anon group in your area and getting their support to help you to sort through this very difficult situation. Going to Al-anon and working the 12-steps will allow you to better gauge yourself and your relationship and also to understand heroin addiction better.

Good Luck,


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