Will my husband ever love me more than than his addiction?
I have been with my husband for 5 years married for 2 this March. A year after dating I found out that he had started using meth again, yes again he had told me that he had had a drug problem before but had been clean for almost 2 years, so it was a shock to find out that he was using again.
I felt so hurt I threatened to kick him out but he begged and cried and promised he would stop. And he would stop..... for very short periods of time. Then the fights started.
I have been accused of everything you can think of from cheating to lying or that I'm the one on drugs, none are which are true. I have left so many times but I always go back because I do love him with all my heart and I don't ever want to give up hope for him and our marriage. But at the same time I don't know what else to do because not only am I dealing with his addiction he has become abusive at times both physically and mentally.
My life feels like a crazy dream I am so saddened by his addiction it has taken everything from him. He is such a good person and will always go out of his way to help anyone but he treats me like a doormat,and even though I'm married I feel so alone!!!!!
I feel like I get his left overs when it comes to spending time with me because now he is using so much he is up for days at a time until he finally crashes or when he doesn't use during the week he comes strait in from work and passes out until I wake him up to eat and he gets up eats and takes a bath and crashes again, but to be perfectly honest it's better than him being high starting fights with me and staying outside reorganizing his tools or what ever else he finds more important than going to bed with his wife that's the only time I can really sleep.
I miss the man I fell in love with:(:(:(. As of right now I have left my husband with hopes that he will get help.