5 years with an addict is enough!

I've been with the same guy for five years. We went to school together all our lives and I knew he was a good guy. Our senior year we hung out all the time and went to prom together.

After graduation we stopped hanging out, but a year and a half later we started talking again. About a month after we started dating, he told me he was addicted to heroin. Of course my heart dropped, but he asked for help and said he wanted a good life together.

In those five years, I have had a miscarriage and felt myself turn into a person I didn't like. My trust for him was gone after he would take off to get high. His family hates me because they think I make him depressed, but all I try to do is help him.

His family also does drugs, and he has an uncle just gives him whenever he wants it. We have been off and on these past five years. There were times when he was clean and it was amazing together then the relapse happens and I'm the one he treats badly and leaves.

Currently he has moved out yet again leaving me with all the responsibility of the house bills, car etc. He broke things and almost hit me. This coming from the person who said he would never lay a hand on me because he loved me.

I now see that he loves the drugs more and would rather live at his parents with no vehicle or his own room because they let him do the drugs there. He has been partying all night and showing up to work late and being weird. I know this is where I need to let go, but I worry about him so much. He has been mean this past week... calling me names and blaming me saying he isn't coming back. He's always the one running back and saying that he needs help getting clean and his parents are mean to him. I know this time he needs help through treatment and I need to be strong and stay away until it really happens.

I never understood the addiction and how people could love someone with an addiction but now I know. I hate the drug and I've come to hate his family because they don't care. I guess he needs to hit his rock bottom alone. One day he may realize but if will be too late.

Comments for 5 years with an addict is enough!

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Leaving is always difficult!
by: Debbie Wicker

From what you've described, it sounds like it is time to move on. Drug addiction is a disease of the brain, and can turns addicts into monsters who are unrecognizable.

You should never tolerate emotional or physical abuse, which is what you're describing. With his family against you and helping to feed his addiction, his chances of listening to you and getting help are not good.

You need to set strong boundaries and stick with them in order to help him and yourself move past this very destructive relationship.

Please consider joining a local Al-anon group to find out the best way to set the boundaries that you both need.

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