Husband says coke straws are old but I don't know?

by Jalynn

I was looking for an ink pen in my husbands bedside table and I found 2 cut straws with coke in them. He admitted a long time ago while he was going through spice withdrawals that he had done coke in the past and that's the only reason I even knew about it.

I asked him if he was using again and I told him I found the straws. He told me that they were old and had been in his drawer for a long time. I have torn that same drawer apart looking for his wedding band when he couldn't find it and I didn't see them there. Of course it's possible that I may have overlooked them but I highly doubt it.

Then of course he gets defensive. He told me if I didn't believe him then I could drug test him. Of course I know my husband and he said that in a way that tells me if I ever thought to bring a test kit home he would leave.

To me it just fits. He always has sinus problems, he is withdrawn from me and our daughter. He goes to work, comes home and goes to the bedroom and lays in bed and stares at the TV and passes out.

He is always hot. Every Thursday he comes home and gets directly on his computer and plays games ALL night long. NO SLEEP WHATSOEVER. I don't know what to think because I have never been around it or witnessed anyone high on it to my knowledge.

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Trust your gut!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Jalynn,

You're in a difficult situation. You don't want accuse your husband of using cocaine, but you also don't want to continue living such a disconnected life with your husband.

From the little I know, it seems like you believe that he is using something and that it's causing him to be extremely distant and unhappy whenever he is with you and your daughter.

Have you considered trying couples counseling as a place to discuss your issues? If he is willing to try counseling, it may help to open the communication lines in a constructive, non-threatening way. The counselor may be able to explore areas that he won't discuss with you. Also, I would recommend a male counselor, so he doesn't feel like he is being ganged up on by two women.

It goes without saying that cocaine addiction is a dangerous, progressive disease of the brain. That if it's left untreated, it becomes more severe and can be fatal. Sadly, drugs often attack the part of our brain that helps us to reason, so that we believe we can use without addiction or any other consequences. We THINK we can stop any time we want to, but of course that's not true.

If your instincts are telling you that there is something wrong, I would trust them and gently try to get your husband to begin to get the help he needs.

Good Luck,


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