Odd way of using meth
My story may be slightly different from most. I’ve been addicted to meth for 20 years. My husband and I did meth the first time 20 years ago one weekend that we were away from home. We were both scared to death to try it. We talked it through and decided we would be together and experience it as a couple.
Needless to say we had a wonderful night. We woke the next morning talking all about it. At first it was an occasional thing. Then it turned into every weekend. Before you know it we needed it to get through our daily routine.
Months turned into years. Then, my husband started a job that required him to drug test so he stopped using. It was hard for him at first. He would sleep a lot, but he pushed through it. I never stopped...
I’m a completely functional user. I work 8-10 hours a day. I come home and take care of my family and house. I don’t use to get high. I use for motivation. I don’t even feel the high anymore. I keep the same hours as everyone else in the household. Going to bed with the family then waking up and starting my day along with everyone.
I’ve been without for a few days at a time. If I’m ever ill I don’t use during that time. Whenever I’ve tried to stop in the past I don’t really have withdrawals other than depression and body aches. I have zero motivation.
The title of my story is odd way to use meth. I don’t smoke it, snort it, or shoot it. I drink it. I pretty much just put a few pieces on the back of my tongue and take a drink of water and swallow like you would take a pill. I only do this twice a day. Not very much each time. It’s almost like my coffee.
I’m not making excuses. Addiction is addiction. I just often wonder if what I do is much worse than someone drinking five or more cups of caffeinated coffee a day. I know society believes it’s much worse.
I am 48 years old now. I don’t want to do this any longer. My children are grown now. It’s me and my wonderful husband. We both still work every day. I fear I won’t be able to keep up with my life. I don’t want to do a rehab. Not sure I would need it.
If someone would just assure me that I would get better, and that it can be done I think that might help me mentally. If anyone has any words of wisdom they would be greatly appreciated.