one year of xtc

by sierra

my name is sierra
like every bored outcast teen I hung out with the wrong people trying to get high off whatever,
never thinking about school or important things at all.
I found out that this wild life is not for everyone and especially not for me.

I’m clean for almost a year now and life has been better.

But here is my story:

It is really no fun when you are young and have no friends
So you go look for them at the wrong places
And that is exactly what I did
You might think that smoking pot isn’t that bad
But at some point weed is too weak for you and you start to crave stronger things
Now there is nothing wrong with trying new things but I was at a point where me and my friends were popping pills in school on a normal Wednesday
i was doing so many pills and acting out so weird that people began to talk about me and take distant of me

I was told that you can’t get addicted to XTC but I think humans can get addicted to everything mentally.
I was doing so many pills that i felt so depressed even doing the dishes, I wasn’t me anymore
I began to hate eating because of the hangovers so I got skinnier
And began to lose interest in things because life just seemed meaningless to me without any kind of drugs.

I lost my ‘normal friends’
And began to hang out with no future kids
We were hanging out in a park did not care about anything at all
they all did drugs some even worse and more then others
We just took things to far
All though it seemed pretty cool at that time, you forget all the other things in life when you are busy getting yourself wasted all the time

But the thing that made my life a living hell for over a year was that one day at the park when we had decided to pop xtc and drink alcohol with it.
No one ever told me not to mix those two things
And to be honest I don’t remember a thing of that night
But I woke up in the hospital Around 6 AM
My dad with his head down, He had no idea I was doing these kind of things because I lied a lot
I woke up in an adult diaper my ribs hurting, leaves in my hair, scratches on my back
But the worst thing was the fact that I let my parents live in fear all night while I was half naked in a park with my so called friends who ran away when people called the police because I was passed out

And had to hear what happened from strangers who found my Instagram page to see if I had died that night

All my stuff was missing my parents were disappointed I felt really stupid

The past few months after weren’t as pretty too
Child protect services were at my house nearly everyday

I had to go to rehab

I had no one left except for one guy who got me through it all and who gave me back my will to make something of my life again

To this day i still get recognized as that girl from the park and it has kind of given me a trauma

Whenever I hear people bragging about drug related things I just get emotional or really mad

Drugs can make you lose yourself and ruin you and others lives around you

If you ever need help please seek it

There are others willing to help you

I know this story wasn’t great but I don’t want to get in to it that deep

I wish you all the best


Comments for one year of xtc

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lesson well learned
by: Thomas

Some one was trying to teach you the lesson, you ignore it. When you took the test, you didn't do good. Now that you understand the lesson that you were being taught, before you took the test, you now understand the lesson, about substance use disorders.

Some people took that same test and didn't survive the lesson. In my eyesight you are truly inspirational for anyone who believes we don't recover. You're letting everyone know that through God's grace and mercy, your perseverance and resilience, there's not anything within reason we can't accomplish. Handle your business. You're doing a fantastic job!

Thanks for sharing:)
by: Debbie Wicker

Hi Sierra,

Your story is just fine and hopefully someone will read it and understand what you're telling all of us. You got through your trauma but you're hoping to help someone else avoid what you've been through.

Stay strong and you'll be able to move forward with your life on your own terms.

Good luck,


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