Raleigh, NC

by Delores
(Bailey, NC )

I am the parent of a grown child that has been an alcoholic for years. She is on a path to destruction. We are estranged, but she calls me periodically to cuss me out. My son-in-law is trying to broker a deal to get the family together. . . But I have boundaries and one of them she has to be getting help for her drinking.

Comments for Raleigh, NC

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Boundaries are critically important to helping someone to overcome addiction.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Delores,

I'm so very sorry to hear that your daughter is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is an insidious and extremely destructive disease, which is very hard to stop. It's a fatal, progressive disease of the brain that is often fatal if left untreated.

I know very little about your situation so I really don't know if not seeing your daughter is an appropriate boundary or not. I would say that if your son-in-law is trying to get your daughter into treatment and he thinks getting together will help those efforts, then that's one of the only reasons I would violate the boundary.

If on the other hand, he is in denial about her drinking and is enabling her to drink, then I wouldn't see her until she begins to move toward getting help.

I'm hoping that you're attending Al-anon regularly and allowing them to help you to figure out how to love your daughter while also HATING her addiction.

I hope your daughter begins treatment soon,


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- Matthew 7:7-8

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