Drug addiction to the Middle Class: Most people don’t put the two together…
I feel it necessary to share my story. This is my first time
getting it out there after I have just been able to tell my family and
friends the truth which was so hard to do but so necessary at the same
time because you never realize how much love you have until you reach
out and tell the truth….
I have been able to hide my addiction
since I was about 20 and I am now 27 years old. I realized had to stop
just never though it was possible. See I am up from upper middle class
and never thought this was something I could tell my friends or family
because of the way I felt I had to carry myself but when it comes down
to it, the miserable life I was living needed to go away because if I
did not end that way of life I would end up dead.
off when I was young with a few vics a week at night. Just to catch the
buzz. Over time it turned into taking vicodin every night, which is
when it started to run my life with me not knowing it. I chased the
high and its what I looked forward to. I worked all day with family and
friends and hid it for 7 years. I went sober at 23 for approximately 8
months. After that I was offered 10 750 Vicodins and decided “why
not?”. This was probably the worse decision I ever made. This slowly
turned into Vicodoin mixed with Xanex, then slowly increasing to taking Adderall (30 mg daily minimum), and then Suboxone when I didn’t have Vicodin thinking I was helping myself in reality only doing it worse.
would get me high the Zanax would bring me down. It became a daily
routine on top of that it came to the point I could take 30-50 vicodin a
day no problem. To anyone that doesn’t know what its like it sounds
crazy but I realize there are several people that can relate to it.
I started the mixing which just made it worse to where if I didn’t have
a good combination of script drugs I couldn’t get thru a day or night.
I finally realized if I didn’t stop I’d lose it all. I wanted
to quit for so long but was scared to tell anyone. Coming from a very
blunt, a bit arrogant if you will, to where I feel like I shouldn’t care
what anyone thinks of me in this situation it’s impossible to think
I had a dream and I truly believe it was my guardian
angel because this person came to me and said “you need to stop now. I
am giving you a get out of jail free card now just stop and sleep it
At 27 years after disappointing my family, friends, and
mostly myself I went through 5 or 6 days of pure hell. My dreams were
so real I thought they were reality because I haven’t had a real dream
in so long. I slept for days upon days.
brothers, my family, knowing I would take the occasional Vicodin or Adderall (thinking that was it) were beyond worried about me thinking I
was dying. Up until yesterday I could finally get out of bed and walk
straight and articulate sentences. At the beginning of the withdraw
stages I knew I wanted to talk but the physical and mental withdraws
were so bad I could only attempt to piece sentences together.
is a very short story of the hell I put my body through while also at
times doing some coke or taking “E” or “Mollys” on special occasions. I
always thought the addiction would never happen to me.
I used to
be addicted to working out, not pills and devoting my life, worrying on
a day to day basis on how or where I was going to get them so I could
feel normal for the next few days.
What’s crazy is the people
that I would get them from I told them please don’t get in touch with me
about the pills anymore because I’m done. Three of them told me they
are proud of me. Can you believe that? Proud of me…because they too
know what it’s like to go through the mental and physical pain.
needs to know that you can beat what you are facing. If I can do it
when I am supposed to walk around like I am impervious to addiction or
pain I promise you, you have support. I will support. I will answer
questions for anyone.
Now at 27 years old for a short time I’ve
been sober but haven’t felt this good in years for this is longest time
Ive been sober in years. Please let me help you if I can. I am still
young and can live my life without worrying about how I’m going to get
through my days without my fix.
I am not back to work yet but I now know that I can beat this and I PROMISE YOU that again IF I CAN BEAT THIS ANYONE CAN.
is a disease and you need to realize that…its not your fault and it
can start off enjoying the high you get after taking to many Vicodins
after getting your wisdom teeth pulled. Thats how simple it starts.
Bless you all going through this, I promise there is light at the end
of the tunnel and nothing feels better then saying this is the longest
Ive been sober in 4 years.
Please contact me for help or questions I will be happy to share more…
Here’s to sobriety and to the help if anyone needs please don’t hesitate…
by: j R M
Good job on getting clean. My only question is what is gonna
happen when you get back to normal and start to get the thought of
using? You need to get more help then just stopping on your own.
have experienced the same thing only to fall many times over and over
again until i put myself in contact with daily meetings and an
accountability partner. This way i am reminding myself every day that i
am an addict and it helps me keep the addiction in front of me.
not trying to rain on your parade but you need to keep playing the tape
to yourself of what can happen if you get arrogant and think you can
use without consequence. Good luck and GOD Bless you and keep up the