by Emma

(Springfield MO)

My name is Emma im 17 years old and started using drugs at 15 but first i’ll tell you a lil about my life.

i was adopted from russia at 8 years old with my older brother and came back to america with my foster mom. My real parents were both drug addicts and my mom had me and my brother at a young age and couldnt take care of us.

Till 8 years old i stayed in two orphanages with my brother. my father died when i was 6 due to a bad drug deal. after moving to america i was the perfect dougher loving caring sweet people enjoyed being around me.

But when i hit 13 something in my mind said screw it. i started disobeying my mom talking back and thinking i could do whatever i wanted just cause im 13.

when entering 7 grade i moved to a new town here i made lots of friends pretty popular in school did volleyball track and cheerleading. School was never my thing so i payed more attention to sports.

My first time getting caught shop lifting was at 13. i dint think anything of it and thought it was funny and a game. everytime that i went to a store i had to take something even if it was little. this was my addiction for now.

as i got into 8 grade things were still the same until this boy came in to my life and i thought that i had to impress him so he offered to let me smoke with him and of course i said yes.

after that i dint smoke much and then later tried drinking and instantly fell in love with it. my mom dint know i was doing anything. i still remember the day she was driving me to school and i was talking about how i wanted some fake color contacts and then the next thing my mom gets a call saying that i had ODED in school on Xanaxx with 5 other girls.

i got kicked out of school and got sent to alternative school and the only part i cared about was the sports. After that day things changed i no longer cared about ANYTHING. my boyfriend broke up with me, he was the one i had lost my virginity to.

After that i started hanging round more with people that did drugs and would always have them on them. To me if you dint have drugs i dint want anything to do with you and for some the only way i could hang out with them was only if we were both high.

I started hanging around older boys trying to look for that protection that i never got from my father. It was easy cause as long as i was nice to them they would provide me with drugs. i started getting in trouble with the police and got sent to green oaks 5 times for saying i wanted to die and kill myself.

i got sent to my first rehab at sundown ranch. i got out and later relapsed again. i got sent to my next 3 rehabs at the age of 16 ran away from one got kicked out of one and my last one i completed.

I look back and think how stupid i was for the thinks i have done and how i hurt the people i love to get high but once that high is gone the same problems are here. i just want to thank my mom for all her support and for never giving up on me. NEVER GIVING UP.

she took me in as her child and this is what i have done. It will take time to earn her trust and make our relationship healthier. rehab and hospital dint help me. I see myself as a social user and now all i do is smoke occasionally. i wish i could go back and change things but all i can do know is learn from my mistakes.