AN ADDICTS RIGHTS!
by Kathryn
(Adelaide S.A. Australia)
HI,
I AM A 43 YEARS OLD. I HAVE BEEN ADDICTED TO METHAMPHETAMINE FOR THE PAST 11 YEARS. I AM
A MOTHER OF TWO CHILDREN NOW AGED 15 AND 12.
I HAVE MADE AN EXTENSIVE EFFORT IN OVERCOMING
MY ADDICTION, AND AM ABOUT TO RE-ENTER FOR THE
FIFTH TIME A REHABILITATION CENTER.
THREE YEARS AGO I MADE THE MISTAKE OF TRUSTING
THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN WITH THEIR CARE WHILST
I WAS ATTENDING A REHAB PROGRAM. I WAS UNFAIRLY
DISCHARGED EARLY FROM THE PROGRAM, THE FATHER USED
THIS AGAINST ME WHEN I TRIED TO HAVE HIM RETURN
THE CHILDREN TO MINE AND MY PARTNERS CARE.
THE SCHOOL ILLEGALLY ALLOWED THE FATHER TO PICK UP
THE CHILDREN, AFTER I HAD CALLED AND TOLD THEM HE
WAS NOT ALLOWED TO. I HAD CURRENT COURT ORDERS OF
THE CHILDREN’S CARE.
I FIND IT REALLY OFFENSIVE THAT IT IS BETRAYED THAT CHILDREN IN THE CARE OF METH ADDICTS PARENTS
NEED TO BE REMOVED TO PROTECT THEM FROM ANY ABUSE.
I DID NOT ABUSE MY CHILDREN WHILE THEY WERE IN MY
CARE. THEY WENT TO SCHOOL, PLAYED SPORTS, HAD
FRIENDS, FOOD OF THE TABLE AND WERE VERY MUCH LOVED.
THE FATHER AND THE COURTS REFUSE FOR ME TO SEE MY
CHILDREN. I AM SADDENED TO SAY DUE TO THE TUNNEL
VISION VIEW THAT ALL METH ADDICT PARENTS ARE ABUSING THEIR CHILDREN. RE-ENFORCED BY SUCH WRITTEN INFORMATION AND MEDIA REPORTS.
THE HELP HAS “NOT HELPED BUT WORSENED” MY SITUATION AND DEVASTATED MY LIFE MORE THAN THE DRUGS WILL HAVE EVER DONE. ALL MY RIGHTS AS A MOTHER WERE TAKEN AWAY. I HAVE FELT SO ALONE IN FIGHTING AGAINST WHAT SEEMS THE ENTIRE SYSTEM IN REGARDS TO WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
I HAVE MET OTHER ADDICTED MOTHERS AND FATHERS OUT THERE THAT HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM AS WELL. NOT MANY, BUT THE INJUSTICE IS CRUEL AND SO MORE DAMAGING TO THE CHILDREN’S WELL BEING AND TO THE ADDICTS RECOVERY.
THERE NEEDS TO BE A UNIFIED APPROACH TO THE WELFARE AND TREATMENT OF ADDICTED PARENTS, BY THE LEGAL, MEDICAL AND PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE AND ASSOCIATIONS. THAT DOES NOT ALLOW THE OPINION THAT MY DAUGHTER HAS JUST RECENTLY WROTE TO ME SAYING HOW HURT SHE FEELS, OVER THINKING THAT I HAVE CHOSEN MY DRUG HABIT OVER BEING ABLE TO GET HER BACK. IT KILLS ME WITH GUILT, ANGER AND SADNESS FOR HER TO BELIEVE THIS.
AND WHY DOES SHE BELIEVE THIS, BECAUSE THE LAW, HER FATHER AND EVEN THE COUNSELORS HAVE TOLD HER THIS, BY THE COURT ORDERS, HER FATHERS HAVING TOLD HER THAT I MUST CARE MORE ABOUT THE DRUG THAN HER ETC.
BUT WHOSE GONNA CARE OR BELIEVE THE WORD OF AN ADDICT ANYWAY HEY! UNLESS I’M CLEAN I HAVE NO SAY, NO RESPECT, NO RIGHTS AND NO SUPPORT FROM ANYONE IN A POSITION TO HELP ME TO SEE MY CHILDREN LEGALLY.
DEVASTATED IS UNDERESTIMATED AS TO HOW BADLY THINGS WENT WRONG FOR ME IN SEEKING HELP.
A GRIEVING MOTHER……..
{THIS LETTER DOES NOT MEAN THAT I BELIEVE THAT THE
ABUSE OF CHILDREN DOES NOT OCCUR IN THE CARE OF ADDICTED PARENTS. SADLY IT DOES. I SPEAK ONLY FOR MY SITUATION. WAS I ALWAYS THERE FOR MY CHILDREN, NO, DID MY ADDICTION EFFECT MY PARENTING, YES. DID I DESERVE TO NOT HAVE CONTACT WITH MY CHILDREN. NO}
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Children 1st, Parents feelings 2nd
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR FAMILY, not your ex husband. Take the steps to get completely clean and stable and then pursue reintroducting yourself into your children lives. Think of other meth addicts that you have met and ask yourself this, would you trust your children with someone who was an addict? Probably not. |
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Dear Alicia
I believe that your hurt and pain in not having your mother their as she should have been has been devastating for you. It also saddens me that your mother’s addiction was so severe that it has now caused her such damage that she was unable to even remember who you are. You did not mention in your letter if your mother sought any help for her addiction. Were you allowed to see your mother or was there no contact allowed. Like I said in my first letter, unfortunately there any many parents addicted to methamphetamine that do abuse their children and are unable to care for them in even their basics needs. Every persons case or story are different. Despite my abuse of drugs, my children were still very well looked after and loved. No more or less than any other regular family that would be dealing with a family member with a mental or physical illness. I feel strongly that if you had have had the right support and information given to you in regards to your mothers addiction, you may have been better able to understand her’s and your own situation a lot better and been able to deal with the problems that were happening. All I can encourage you to do is to find out as much as you can about your mother’s addiction and hopefully that will help you to understand the difficulties there is in overcoming or recovering from addictions and that not to doubt that your mother does love you, she was maybe just too sick to be able show it to you. Yours sincerely Kathryn
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I know you more then you think you do.
I remember being 4 and 5, seeing my mom not waking up, or having seizures all the time, because of drugs. I’ve listened to her call me names, and abuse me mentally. What you are truly doing, are killing your kids, and you will never forgive yourself. I know exactly how your kids are feeling, I’d chop off my legs to see my mom again. I miss her so much, & i feel for your kids, There is not 1 minute i go without thinking about my mom. She is mentally not there anymore, she doesn’t remember who i am. If you keep doing drugs, i can promise you, you will be just like her. I wish i could help every single kid going through this. If you we’re a drug addict before they we’re born, do you think they think that they were supposed to come in this world? no, because you can’t even take care of yourself, so you can’t take care of them, your not a mom. a mom is there for you every single night, to talk to you about anything. Your kids only have a dad to do that, just like me. Take what i said to hear, get clean. You did pick drugs over your kids, you brought them into this life, so stay in there life. get clean. |
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Ridiculous
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Thank you for your responses
I believe criminals get more access visits to their children than I was allowed. There was never a family assessment done and whether or not I have managed to overcome my problem of which I voluntary sought help with, should never have resulted in my inability to have contact with my children. For some people the road to recovery is short and for others a much longer road. I feel dismayed in that the opinion be that I have chosen my addiction to drug use, over having contact with my children. My road to complete recovery has been long and it has never once been of any help to my children or myself to not have contact during this period. None the less I will never give up. |
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Then Do It !!!!!
The truth is whether you wanna hear it or not is that you have chosen your drug over your children. As addicts we all do but that doesn’t mean we don’t love them. Get your life back in order first and if you really want it, then God will bless you beyond your wildest beliefs!!!!!!! Good luck and God bless you.. Go after your recovery like you chased after drugs and you will succeed ……. |
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One Day At-A-Time
I can not imagine the pain you must feel and the terrible consequences that the meth has caused you. The single most important thing for you to do is to successfully complete your treatment program, get clean, and then start to fight for your kids. The system can be harsh, seemingly unfair and downright cruel at times, but you must also accept the responsibility for your addiction to meth. There is hope. You can get through this, but before you worry about the custody of your children, you must first focis on your personal health and well being. You can still be a great mom and the kind of mom they deserve. If you get clean, stay clean and start to establish a good track record, I am confident the courts will recognize the efforts and allow you access. First things first. Take care of your health needs, then worry about tomorrow. |