boyfriend addicted to heroin

by leslie

(dallas, tx, usa)

My boyfriend of 4 years recently started using heroin. He has been clean and sober for 11 years and was very active in AA and Al-anon. He was living with me until I found out he started using and I asked him to leave unless he stopped and got clean.

He disappeared for about a month which was an emotional roller coaster for me until I finally found him but he was into very heavy use then. He is still using and continues to tell me he wants to get clean and he knows he needs to. I have told him I am about done with us and it doesn’t seen to even phase him.

I love him and I worry about him and I don’t want to have to end this relationship but I am not seeing any other option. He is not the same person I fell in love with and it is awful to watch this self destruction.

I have offered to help him detox and be there for him and he tells me he is trying to wean himself off this stuff but then he continues to spend his time with his new heroin using friends he has recently met.

Since meeting these people a month ago, he has begun to use Xanax too. I have never used drugs in my life or been around this so it is all overwhelming and scary. Any advice or options would be greatly appreciated.

The Right Thing

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Leslie,
You did the right thing, both for yourself and for your friend. There are consequences to using drugs, not the least of which is the loss of a loving relationship. As much as you don’t want to lose somebody you love, you have to take yourself out of the relationship and live around the drug culture lifestyle.

If he has any feelings for you, the loss of your love might be just the thing he needs to get him into treatment.
Even though he has years of experience with AA, he needs to get back. He needs to the support of the AA community. They might be able to help you get him back on track. Don’t buy into his talk about weaning himself off. That’s foolishness. He needs professional help and he needs the support of addicts in recovery.

Your cause is not lost, but after 11 years his struggle resumes. You really need to protect yourself, and having him move out was the right thing to do. It doesn’t sound like you have a future with him, but he might rebound and get help. You might want to get with the Al-anon community to provide support for yourself. Who would understand more?

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