by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Mark,

Many of us have experienced what you’re experiencing. We drink, we smoke weed, take some pills, or do some coke. We are in control, and we can do what we want, when we want, as often as we want, but we’re still be control!

The problem is that our brain has a different idea. Drugs and alcohol attack the brain and change our brain chemistry every time we use, in ways that are still not fully understood. Also, because we’re created wonderfully and UNIQUELY, how we’re effected by our drug and alcohol uses varies from person to person.

Some of us meth once, or OxyContin once or coke once and that’s it. We’re hooked. Our brain is so susceptible to the drug that we’re addicted on first use. This can even happen with alcohol. We start drinking and suddenly we can’t stop.

But for most of us it takes longer for us to have a problem. We become addicted much more slowly and in ways which are subtle, which we are often unaware of. We started to use every month or two, then once month, then weekly and now much more often.

Our brain becomes our enemy because it changes and decides we must use otherwise withdrawal symptoms begin to kick in and we feel awful all of the time. We crave the drug to feel better.

Mark, nothing has happened to you that doesn’t happen to most of us. You’re becoming dependent on drugs and they’re in the process of ruining your life.

The good news is that there is a solution. Please start going to AA or NA meetings and working the 12 steps. The 12 steps teach us about our addiction and help us to re-gain control of our lives. Working the steps help us to understand what we’re experiencing and take steps to change it.

I hope you start working the steps and getting back to living the life you want to live,

Debbie

by: Anonymous

Thanks for your reply

I think i feel some resentment towards myself because i would of like to have seen it through to the end of him getting recovered but i know that a coke addiction is the hardest addiction to recover from, so my life would have been a constant worry and misery for me.

I wanted a family and a home with this man and still wanted it when i knew he was a addict. But my eyes opened on the reality of how hard that would of been due to the severity of his addiction.

Today i have been positive which has made me feel good today.

He messaged asking why I’ve blocked him on social media but i have taken myself off it all so his messages today have been short which i don’t mind as him being short and not sending many messages via email has helped heal my heart a bit more.

I think my next step is having to see him move in to a new relationship but i know deep down i have saved myself and what ever happened with the addict i do wish him all the best because he has a long recovery process ahead and i have told him i wish him all the best.

by: Anonymous

I know exactly what your talking about. It’s very sad. Selfish, heart breaking, memories of how they were flood your mind. You see them change right before your eyes. My boyfriend just went to rehab. 90 days. It was that or split.

I miss him so badly that it hurts. But I know it’s best for him. Never allow anyone to mistreat you. They will take ALL your money. No kidding.

Be safe.

by: Anonymous

It’s hard to deal with emotions when you love someone.

I’m really struggling at the minute because although i love my ex-boyfriend so much i will always be last in his eye due to the addiction and i think that’s what I’m struggling to deal with.

He moving on doing stuff with very old mates but these mates look ok on the outside; come from good families but they are all addicts, ex-addicts or recovery addicts and he is just in the first start of recovery.

The only reason i left my addict was because of the threats to my family and part of me now still regrets it because i love him but i never felt it back.

I need advice on what to do to stop the hurt i just need answers on how people have dealt with it to move forward as its been 4 weeks for me and I’ struggling with all emotions possible i dealt ok when with him through his lies etc but finishing it has been a totally different experience for me.

He been doing loads with AA recovery people and if i see a photo of him with another girl it turns my stomach because i hate the thought of it but i know me walking away is the best thing i could of done its just hard to deal with when i feel my family dont understand.

The ex addict wants to meet but my family wont allow it.

I’m 31 years old and invested 17k into my addict to get lucky it was savings so no loans etc but i know now it wasn’t a good idea because it just feed into his addiction and just desire to use more.

He messages now and again he has just being all nice me pouring my heart out and then him being nice saying to meet him etc when i say no he tells me to deal with it i ended it. It’s like a roller-coaster but i know i will get there i just hope sooner rather than later.

Any one got advice to move forward?

by: April

Hey. I just want to say just hang in there it gets easier. I am an addict who is walking away from my functional addict. It is toxic but we were together for five years. I have not seen him in two months and it hurts every single day. Sometimes it just has to be that way. Growth is painful but it will get better. Maybe one day things will be different but for now it’s just the best thing, even though it hurts. Hang in there!