Strong 16 year old!
by Alicia
(Ontario)
My name is Alicia, I am 16 years old. I have a long story, and I hope you stick around, and read the whole thing.
It started when i was 4 years old, My mom started shaking on the couch beside me, I felt her leg kicking, next thing i knew, shes on the floor, with foam coming out of her mouth, my aunt told me was shivvering, she was just “cold”.
I was 8 I remember we we’re outside, My mom was showing my grandpa the new pool liner, the pool was empty, and just concrete, thank god she moved… she moved a couple feet, started shaking, fell over, smashed her face off the trailer hitch, blood was everywhere, i jumped over her shaking body to grad the phone to call 911.
One day, my mom didn’t wake up, But she was breathing, she just wouldn’t wake up.
One day, I was in the car with my mom, and my brothers 3 friends, they all didn’t have seat belts on, mom was talking funny. I remember smashing into another car.
She was shaking because she overdosed on perscription pills.
I don’t remember any good times with my mom. I remember being little, and her not even knowing who i am. What 5 year old wants to hear that from their mom.
My parents divorced when i was 11, things got worse, she abused me mentally, & verbally. She went to rehab, it did not work. She is mentally not there anymore, because drugs got her in too deep to pull herself out… she doesnt know me.
I havn’t seen or talked to her in 1 year. I miss her more than anything. What 16 year old doesn’t want to have a mom. I go through so much in my life without her, and i’d chop off my own legs just to have her in my life sober, but that will never happen.
If your reading this, and you are a addict, and you have kids, do the right thing, and get clean. That’s not fair for kids to go through this, I am a strong girl, and now a daddies girl, even though i want my mom.
I have a dream everynight of her shaking. It’s such a scary thing. I want to help change people, and make a difference in people’s lives.
I hate sitting around thinking about how much my life sucks, when i want to be out helping someone who felt like i did, yeah i still miss my mom so much, but i feel like she’s dead, theres no going back if i wanted to, shes just laying in a bed wasting away.
I’ve seen her try and get help, but she did not suceed, shes a weak person, But i believe you can change anything. especially if you have kids.
Don’t let your life be like my moms.
In 2 years, I am going to school to be a drug and alcoholic addictions councullor, i am going to be the best out there, and im going to save many lives, and fix so many familes broken hearts.
I hope you take all my story and put it in your heart, and remember no matter what you do in life, it should be for you, and for you family. I am a strong girl, and i will never follow in my moms footsteps. I love life.
Alicia
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Thank you!
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WOW
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There is hope.
You are already helping people now by sharing your experience, strength, and hope with them. I want to tell you that there is always hope, and please don’t give up on your Mom. I am a recovering drug addict/alcoholic who was known as a chronic relapser and considered “hopeless”. I have been clean and sober now almost ten years. I have three children and by the Grace of God my youngest two have never seen me drunk or high. My oldest child however hardly saw me sober. He didn’t give up on me though and finally after years of praying for a clean and sober Mother, his prayers were answered. So please Alecia, keep praying, and never lose hope. |
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Very touching, I applaud u.
Wow, your story is deep, your courage & decisions in life & 4 your future r strong & brave, with gr8 meaning & purpose 2 them. I’m from South Africa, not married, or have kids, so I cant say I know what you’re going through, or feeling. But, I am recovered, & going strong addict of 3 & half years. I’ve done the party drugs (coke, khat, “E”, LSD, meth) for 2yrs, went 2 rehab for 6weeks, finished programme, relapsed 6 weeks later onto Heroin & Crack. For the next 12months, I used every day, starting with R200/day (+-$30), ending up doing R1800/day (+-$260). High from 5min after I wake up, fall asleep by using. I lost my friends, my entire family, no one related 2 me spoke 2 me, got fired, blew over $25000 of my life savings account in 27 days, I went through my statements $ counted, started stealing, stole from my parents, went into dept of R28000 (+-$4000), only then asked 4 help, once I found out I’m under investigation by SVCU (RSA’s version of ur DEA). Went 2 a bootcamp style rehab for 16 months. Now I’m clean going on 23 months, no drugs no booze, no cigarette. What u went through, my parents went through, what u felt, they felt, what u feared, they feared. I was told how they felt, i cant even imagine the pain. The point, intention, & aim 4 my post is 2 motivate, & prove to u that, that what u wana become in 2years time, you’re not wasting ur time, there r people out there who need people with knowledge & passion to help them. I did, & am thankful 4 them. |
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Awesome
I must admit, when I saw the title to your story, I thought to my self..here we go, another 16 yr old “hooked”. The reason I even saw your story is because I am posting my own story of my 21 yr old son who is addicted to Heroin & has had his daughter taken from him. (my daughter has her) I am so sorry that you had to go thru that as a child. I can not even imagine. I don’t know you, but, I can say that I am proud of you that you did not fall into that same scene. You are a very strong young lady & proud that you want to go out into the world helping people. I am a nurse & can tell you that it IS very rewarding. Best of luck to you in the future!!! |
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You are strong!
Have you ever considered joining Alateen or Alanon? It’s to help heal families who have gone through what you have been through. You may find some healing in those meetings and you will also meet others like you who you can talk to and share experiences with. Good luck and I hope your plans to become a counselor work out for you, you would be a great help to many others I’m sure:) |