I gladly admit that I am having a huge problem, a problem that seems uncontrollable.
I started using Morphine when I was 9 years old! And some years later I started using every drug known to man I think. Hashish, pot, meth, L.S.D., P.C.P., ketamine, ecstasy, and of course mainlining heroin on top of that.
Now it’s been more than 20 years continuously with all of these crazy drugs combined and alcohol (if it counts??) most of the drugs have actually stopped working, at least the ecstasy, and the heroin, to the point where I started injecting not only heroin for a quick fix, a bit of all of them, and since most veins have stopped working, I will let it be up to your fantasy where that insane mix of so many crazy drugs are going mainlined…..
A little crazy point in my story is that my family never suspected this insane drug abuse, since I was pretty much a straight A student, and I am now actually finishing off my B.B.A, at a university.
My parents are doctors as well, weird right? They found out because I told them I did not wanna lie to them any more and I wanted to actually let them know where the pocket-money for my studies was going!
I have been to several detoxes in my home-country, which is situated in North-West Europe, but the most important part I believe, the after treatment, I chose to run away from, and I went back to the country I am taking my Bachelor’s! To hide I guess.
But I seriously wanted to get off all those drugs, the main problem was of course heroin, which was solved with Methadone!
That is decision I regret with more than all my heart, because it is 10000000. Times more difficult to stop than heroin itself, and one of the “definitions” for being addicted is that the drug is controlling your life, Methadone controls mt life now MORE than heroin ever did, it is impossible to quit, the ” cold turkey” just last and last for weeks and weeks!
If you cannot stop heroin alone, NEVER use Mehadone as a solution, use Subutex, it’s as easy as heroin to go off, it gives you that little “extra” you for sure long for after quitting heroin, and it’s just perfect!
Only reason I am on Methadone is because the country I am in doesn’t have Subutex as an alternative!
I am getting really tired of my life situation, without being suicidal, but I long deeply for a real program, like group therapy, or the 12 step program, I just wanna talk with somebody!
By the way, Methadone made me stop heroin for one reason, and one reason alone, because it blocks the opioid receptors to the brain, so when I’m off, of course I relapsed, I did not get high.
So I thought I would cut down, and started using only cocaine, and so on and off I have been not using heroin for about three years, but I have used 2 grams of coke a day instead, and I’m getting to old for age, frustrated, nowhere to turn, and I just don’t wanna involve my family anymore, I don’t wanna hurt them anymore than I have already done.
So what do I do?????
I am sorry if this is outside your “story-points”, but believe me, I have been searching all over the Net, and this Site is the closest one I ever found to be the most serious, and most understanding of the addiction problem that is raving every single corner of the earth!!!!