What should I do?
Hello,
Last night I was told that my fiance’ is taking drugs. he knows that I used to be an addict and in the beginning of the relationship, told him that I would not stand for it. he told me he had done it in the past but has not touched it
since we have been together (1 and a half years).
He does lie a lot about stupid random things, he does lose his temper quickly if I ask too many questions about work or a certain person (never has he raised a hand to me) and is friends with 2 different dealers that I know of. in the past
8 months he has put on about 10 kgs and he is forever tired.
what do I do? do I take him for a test, do i involve his parents?
I would really appreciate any advise you could give.
Thanks for everything, Kerri
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Tough Love
The cold, hard reality of your situation is simply that you cannot be involved with a user. You are in recovery and you will always be in recovery. Therefore, you need to live a healthy lifestyle and that does not include drug abuse. So let’s look at a few things. Any meaningful, long-term relationship is based on trust, and that relationship is a two-way street. Both people need to be committed to each other and act in the best interest of the other. His lying to you and his using drugs is not in your best interest. It hurts you. You can not have this in your life. Therefore, if you love him and you want this relationship, you need to fight. Yes, involve his parents and partner with them to get him into treatment. Lay down the law. If he wants you, he’s going to have to get his act together. Otherwise, Kerri, you need to move on and take care of yourself. He needs to understand your position in no uncertain terms. Seek out some professional help from a doctor, a drug treatment center or Al-Anon. Get your plan ready and draw your line in the sand. |