What should I tell my children?
I would like to know what effects my children and their behaviors, during my drug use.
And how can I be able to talk with them about how drugs has destroyed my life.
Also how God has changed my life tremendously, because I was willing to change, and admitted that I was powerless.
|
Help a Child Understand Their Parent?s Addiction
|
|
Difficult Conversation
Children aren’t stupid and they probably know what’s going on. The important point to remember is that your actions will speak much louder than your words. If you are still using, for example, you can tell them to “Do as I say not as I do,” which of course gets you nowhere. If you are not using and have gone through treatment and are in recovery, you can explain to them how the drugs have ruined your life and ask them for their forgiveness for what you have done to them. Perhaps you can even ask for their help. But the mending of hard feelings and emotional pain is done over time, so there is no magic conversation that will change that. God’s forgiveness is immediate, complete and your transgressions are not remembered against you. With people it’s a different story. When we are the ones behaving badly, we want mercy. If it’s somebody else, we want justice. If your children believe they have been harmed and they are angry, that might be hard to wipe clean. Give yourself time. If you are not in treatment, go there, especially if your children are asking you to get help. If you are already in treatment, stay the course. If you are in a recovery program, do not underestimate the power of the relationships you form with other recovering addicts. My friend Joe Herzanek wrote a tremendous book, “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” He went through what you are going through. You will probably find most of the book is about you. But for now, you can try to have that important conversation with your children. |