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Step son addicted to drugs?

I have a step son who is 22 years old and he is an addict of some kind. Don't know if he is doing heroin or not. He has been staying messed up on a daily basis. He lives with me and my husband.

Recently we went through his room and found a large amount of cash, gold coins and silver dollars, new watches and other items. I also found some synthetic stuff that had been used.

He doesn't work, sleeps, eats our food, goes out anytime he wants, comes home anytime he wants and is stoned most of the time. He has never paid for any of his up keep. He is facing a felony charge for which he was arrested, but, my husband paid his bail.

This young man has cried crocodile tears for years to my husband and his mother. He has begged chances after chances for help and a place to stay. Each time both giving in.

I am at the end of my rope! He continues to stay stoned and does nothing around the house to contribute. He wants money, shelter and food from us while he is out getting stoned!

What can I do? I love my husband very much. I love his son too, but, I am the only one who sees his true colors. My husband says that it is hard to see your child out on the streets.

I can't make him see that his child is making his decision to be that way and as long as we supply shelter and food and giving him money on top of that, we are giving him the drugs he needs to stay high.

He will do good for a couple of weeks, after that, he falls right back into his drugs. And if it isn't his way, it is no way. We have offered to pay for a 14 month rehab program in which he told his dad that it was too long.

My husband finds another for 30 days that he will go to, in Florida. I don't feel 30 days is long enough. My step son expects his father to bail him out every time.

How can I get my husband to see that he shouldn't be doing this? It has caused a bridge between our marriage which makes me very sad.

Please help!!

Comments for Step son addicted to drugs?

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Sadly, your husband is enabling his son's addiction.
by: Debbie Wicker

Hello,

I don't blame you for your frustration with the situation because it sounds like both of your step son's parents are enabling his addiction. As you've said, giving him money and allowing him to live in your house while he's using is allowing him to continue to be an addict. This is called enabling his addiction.

Drug addiction is a disease of the brain that is often fatal if left untreated. Giving him money for anything is essentially giving him money for drugs. Bailing him out of jail puts him back on the street using drugs.

I highly recommend that you and your husband begin attending Al-anon and working the 12 steps right away. Going to Al-anon meetings twice a week, working the steps and ultimately finding a sponsor will help you and your husband learn the best way to help your step son. It will also help you to understand the damage that enabling his addiction is doing.

We must all learn how to love the addict while hating his addiction.

Good Luck,

Debbie

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