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Brother an alcoholic?

by Nikki

How can i help my brother, i have an older brother whom i very close too. He has drunk all his life but has got worse over the last few years.

Has had rehab once, he drinks a litre of vodka a day, he shuts himself away in his room as his marriage has broken up and doesn't come out for days, he has lost a huge amount of weight.

I cry constantly as to see him is so pitiful, I've tried all sorts to help him but he just says i am what i am.

He used to be a big strong man and worked hard on the engines in the biceps, now he is a skeleton, he would walk on hot coals for me, and now i cannot do nothing to help him. I did get a CPN to visit but he got angry and told him to leave, what else is there?

I know he has got to want to do it but he doesn't want to?

Hard to Watch
by: Ned Wicker

Dear Nikki,

Alcoholism, as it advances, is suicide by the installment plan. It's hard to love someone and watch them waste away, and frustrating to know that the alcoholic doesn't want treatment.

Groups like Al-Anon have been helping family members for years, so I would encourage you to seek them out. The web address is:

and you can find a meeting. They are a wonderful source for help and support. You can try to talk to your brother, but he won't listen.

Give Al-Anon a call.

Can I drink if my husband is an alcoholic?

by Debre

If you are married to an alcoholic does that mean that you cannot drink ever? I like to once in a while have a beer but I do not drink all the time.

I am separated for one year from my husband but we started back dating in March and he did quit totally drinking hard liquor (Vodka) but he drinks beer all weekend. Especially on Sundays and I have refused to be with him when he starts drinking so much and I have had to leave and go back to my apt. when he does.

I love him so much but I cannot deal with him when he gets drunk...usually ends up passing out early. So yesterday I found that he had drank 6 or 7 beers between 9:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. and found another 12 pack in the refrigerator. We were about go grill out when I found this and told him that I was leaving because I knew where this was heading. He blew up at me and said some stupid stuff so I got my things and left.

I really do love him but I cannot live with the weekend binges. During the week he is ok. Just Friday, Sat. and Sunday does his drinking get abusive. I just do not know what to do. I cannot live with him or be around him when he drinks all day but I love him and when he has only drank a little he is fine. Just need some advise....

Think It Through
by: Ned Wicker

Dear Debre,

There are a couple of ways to look at your situation. First, there is nothing wrong with you enjoying a beer now and again. However, if that causes your husband to stumble, it just might not be worth it to you.

Maybe you can share a beer with your friends, outside his presence. People think that beer isn't intoxicating. Rubbish! You saw him passed out after only six or seven. He has a few beers and begins to act stupidly.

Just because he doesn't drink during the week doesn't mean his dependence on alcohol has gone away. The pattern of behavior is the key to understanding that he needs help, and you need help and support too.

So many spouses have gone through this and that's why Al-Anon is such an effective organization, because they know how to help you. They will help you come up with ways to get hubby some help. Bottom line--he can't drink, period.

and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8

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