Addicted and Not Sure What To Do?
I don’t know if my doctor will start me up again on the Subutex, as it would be my third time and I didn’t finish going in to see her the last time, there for I didn’t finish the tablets called Subutex that she was giving me,
I’m about to lose the girl I plan to marry in 2011.
Life’s not good at the moment as I’ve been treating her badly, so bad she thinks I will hit her one day very soon and I can’t have her thinking that.
She loved me when no one else would.
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Take Care of Business
First things – do go to your doctor and share what has been going on in your life. Perhaps there is another direction, but understand that if you choose to use, you’ll likely lose everything. Addiction doesn’t care about the ones you love, or the ones who have loved you. If your lady is afraid that you will strike her, it’s probably because you’re acting like a jerk when you’re using or withdrawing. Aside from any medical attention, any treatment, you need to be a part of a recovery community. This is important, so listen. You can’t beat addiction by yourself. You need to have others around you, others who understand you and can relate to what you are experiencing. That’s what the meetings are all about. You may be one of those people who don’t like going to meetings, because you think they’re ineffective, or stupid, or that the people who attend them are losers. If you use, you’re the loser and it’s not just your lady that you’re losing. Go to your doctor and be honest. If there is a treatment program for you, do it. Your lady should also get some help, to learn how to best deal with you. If she loves you and wants the relationship, she’ll be open to that idea. Al-Anon can be a big help to her. Lastly, be honest, open and willing with yourself. The 12 Step program is difficult, but it renders huge results to those willing to be real. Long after the doctors have treated you, long after the effects of the drugs have worn off, there is still the void in your spirit and needs attention. Addiction is a spiritual disease, so consider tending to matters of the spirit. I hope you can keep the relationship with your lady going. She deserves a nice guy to be with. |