An addict in recovery

by Michele


I’m 45 and an addict in recovery. I have 6 yr old twins a boy and a girl. At the age of two my daughter became mama to her brother because I was in total progressive active addiction.

This was very dangerous and unfair to my little girl. But, she was doing a better job at being mama than I. Looking back I can see now the danger they were in and the loss of trust and security and fear they both were feeling. This is very painful to admit. The memories we should
all have are not at all what they are. My babies have memories not good ones either, all the way back to two years old.

Drugs cost us many things. But I was the one using not them. I was there times I probably shouldn’t have been, and not there many times I should have. I wasn’t sure if I was running to or from something I was just trying to escape my feelings. And my escape turned out to
be my trap and their loss, along with a lot of pain and misery.

There is no justifiable excuse in the world good enough to use to escape responsibility for the damage me and my drug use caused to my children and my family. So I stopped trying to find one.

A person cannot let anyone or anything relieve them of the responsibility of our actions, we have to take ownership of them. We did it so we are responsible.

And as far as being powerless?

We are powerless in active addiction but we come down sometime and make that choice to use again or not. If we would just play it through to the end to the consequences and not just the temporary escape we would all be a lot saner
people. Unfortunately we don’t. And the damage has been done from our wrong decisions and addictive behavior.

Our addictions have voices and if we would
learn to recognize them when they speak to us we can control them. With enough knowledge, support, and love for ourselves and others we can beat addiction.

It’s not a disease that is incurable, addiction is a behavior and a pattern of thinking that can be changed if only we want to change it. I can’t change the past or live in it, if I do I will never have a future, and I will ruin today.

So I ask for forgiveness from the ones I hurt and show my sincerity through the way I live now today.

I forgive myself and look to God for healing and strength to live accordingly.. I hope that my sharing helps someone else out of the bondage of addiction.

Thanks and Good Luck to all..


by: Judy

Debbie, I learned alot from this story. I too believe that addiction is somewhat a learned behavior problem and with outside professional help and support a person can at some point give up the title ” addict”.

I realize the chemical addiction as well but it is such a psychological disease. My 2 sons are addicts unfortunately and I’ve seen it all.

What a great message this was for me. thank you.

An addict in recovery

by: Lynette


Michelle-Thanks for sharing your story and I will say a prayer for you.

The only thing I disagree with is that addiction is curable. I believe it is a disease that is not curable, but, that if you do the right things, you can be in recovery from it.

One thing you did not mention is Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. There is are Narcotics Anonymous meetings but they are sometimes harder to find and they do talk about drug addiction in Alcoholics Anonymous. There is also Ala-teen, if you daughter is a teenager. Also, a counselor and/or a medical doctor should be able to help you and your family.

I am a recovering alcoholic and I have not drank for 25 years. However, my son is a drug addict and has been for 13 years. I go to Al Anon meetings which are for friends and families of alcoholics and drug addicts. It has been a tremendous help to me! In all of these meetings you meet other people in the same or similar circumstances as you are in. I would highly recommend them.

Best wishes and, again, thanks a lot for sharing.

Very well said!

by: Debbie Wicker

Michele thanks so much for your story, I wish everyone who is an addict could read it and understand what you’re telling them.

Hopefully someone will:)

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