Help, parents enabling my brother’s prescription addiction

by Mike

Hello, my name is Mike.

My brother has been abusing prescription pills he obtains illegally for about three years. He often combines Loracets and Somas with alcohol. He has also abuses oxy and heroin. I’m sure there is more I don’t know about.

Recently he has been getting really bad. He has lost A LOT of weight and he has mentioned that sometimes he won’t eat because it will make the effects of the drugs stronger.

He is 22 and has been without a job for about a year and a half. I’ve been completely open with my parents about his problem and destroyed my brother’s trust.

Despite this, my parents have been providing him with money, shelter, bailing him out of bad situations, and giving him transportation or gas money.

I will say recently they put their foot down and said they would stop giving him money or means to for transportation, but they are unwilling to kick him out.

The problem is they have said this before and sure enough two weeks later they think my brother turned a corner and they give back all his privileges.

The truth is my brother is a fantastic liar, and my parents don’t want to accept his problem is as serious as it is. I know he will die or end up in jail, and I’m screaming for their help. They will not throw him out and he is stealing their things to support his habit.

I have a seven month old baby. She is beginning to crawl and puts everything in her mouth. My wife wants to stop letting my brother come over to my house, and she wants to stop going over my parent’s house with the baby as long as my brother lives there.

She is scared the baby may find a swallow pill on the floor. Frankly I’m concerned for my baby’s safety as well, but I am conflicted. If I stop my brother from coming over to my house or if I do not go over to my parents as often to see him, I feel I might miss the opportunity to save his life.

I caught him over dosing at my parents and there has been times he has come over to my house and blacked out or has been completely incoherent. I have to ask myself, what if I wasn’t there?

I’m worn down from this. It is coming to a point that I don’t want to talk about it anymore. What is the point? They are not listening and it is too painful.

My wife is looking in to support groups for families affected by drug.

What are the best type of support groups with flexible meeting times, so I can go from work and vent?

How do I make my parents see how dangerous this situation and join my struggle to make my brother go to rehab?

How can I balance my life and help my brother.

What do I do?

Enough is Enough

by: Ned Wicker

Dear Mike,
You are in a very difficult position, but your job is to be a good, loving brother. That means you have to be the strong one in your family.

Your wife has the right idea. Your brother will continue to slowly kill himself because other than his death, there are no consequences.

Your parents are clueless. You need to draw the line by not allowing him in your home, or allowing your child to be anywhere near him. This is a good idea, because you are drawing a line and establishing boundaries. That might help you get your parent’s attention. He is making his problem your problem, so you need to work to reverse that. He needs treatment or he is going to die. Al-Anon is a great organization and the meeting schedules are very flexible.

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