Reflection of my life as an addict!!!
It's May 7th 11:40pm, I will be 42 years old tomorrow, as I sit here thinking about my life I am trying to figure out where the years have gone. Wow, it seems like I was 20 years old just yesterday, my first born son. Where has the years gone?
It just goes to show that the life of an addict seems to fly by without us realizing it has gone! I'm having a hard time remembering the important things that a person should. Wow what a waste of a life, being lost in the addiction and not realizing that life has passed you by.
I sit here and think about my addiction hasn't just affected my life, but the people closest to me. I've been married three times that failed I'm on my fourth. I have two sons that I've not been in their lives or have not seen them since my oldest was five and my second was just ten months old. That alone is very hard to deal with. I have a son 15 and a daughter 13 with my current wife, but still they have been affected by my addiction. I wish I could go back and make things right.
Time is the only thing that can mend the wounds I have caused. I don't recall myself ever saying that I want to be a junkie. I don't believe anyone ever said that. I just pray that my children never fall into the misery I have, I truly think they won't because they have seen first hand what I go through and the misery that comes along with it.
Being a addict is not worth losing your life over and if you think you don't or not, you do. Your life is just not worth living in the misery of addiction and I hope that my life stories help someone as they may read them. I have shared many stores on this site 1. to help myself by talking about the things I've been thru and 2. to help others by seeing what being an addict is like and the misery that comes with it!!!
People please don't think you can just use on the weekends or just once in awhile because you are just setting yourself up for a life time of misery!!! One is to many and a thousand is never enough!!! I'm on my way to recovery and I'm not going to use today... One day at a time...