I believe my husband is using but not sure what?

by Christina
(Chicago, IL USA )

My husband and I have been together 20 years. Best friends since we were ten. Since January his behavior has completely changed. He seemed depressed and we started counseling.

He seemed confused as to why he felt disconnected from me. We never worked on anything in counseling and our counselor sent him to see someone alone. He told me he was smoking pot seven days a week to cope. My brother has since told me that he asked him if he could get him something stronger.

I noticed in May a total behavioral change. Lying, missing for a few hours at a time, always with an excuse. Looking dazed and confused some days and others irate and mean.

His eyes tell a story. And it's not a good one. I started noticing around this same time small circular bruises on the inside of both biceps. And now since I have actually seen a puncture mark in the largest bruise.

He has abandoned our family. Stopped caring for the house. Doesn't give money. Got a third job working overnight and there is still no money.

He would lock himself in his car at night and sleep with his keys in his pants. He stopped coming up to bed. If I try to talk to him he says he wants a divorce and hates me, that I'm a loser.

His doctor thinks it's heroin. But would you hold three jobs on heroin ? He also cheated when he first started using whatever. And the pot remains untouched in the garage.

I haven't found paraphernalia other than lighters in his pockets and he doesn't smoke. But how would you use such a drug in your car ? Whatever it is it's getting worse. Could it be heroin and shot in the biceps ?

Does someone on heroin stop loving his spouse. I'm so lost and he's so awful to me. He was a loving husband.

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The short answer is yes it could be heroin.
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Christina,

I'm so very sorry that you are in this terrible circumstance. Having someone you've loved, since you were ten, deteriorate right in front of you must be so incredibly difficult.

Much of what you've described is consistent with heroin. Heroin can be injected or smoked, and is currently often the cheapest and the MOST available drug on the street in many areas, particularly Chicago.

If his doctor thinks it's heroin, than it likely is heroin, but regardless your husband is struggling with a major mental health problem.

I highly recommend that you begin attending Al-anon meetings in your area today. Try different meetings and find two or three that you like and feel comfortable in.

During the Al-anon meetings begin working the 12-steps and find a female sponsor who is knowledgeable about drug addiction. Work with your sponsor to develop an action plan to help your husband to get treatment for his mental health issues, which may include drug addiction. When he says he can't cope that indicates he is struggling with something that may be causing him to turn to drugs.

Please go to Al-anon and use their resources to develop an action plan to help your husband as soon as possible.

Good Luck,


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