Is it time to let go?

by Dornell
(USA)

I have been with my husband since 1998, we were married divorced and fell in love again and have been remarried for a few years.

He is a recovering crack/cocaine addict and alcoholic. He has relapsed now and i can't get him to stop or tell the truth, we have a teenager and a little girl. I'm at my whits end, we love each other so much but it seems he loves crack/cocaine more.

I am praying and asking GOD for his grace and mercy but not sure if i can take this another round. I thought this was so far behind us.

Comments for Is it time to let go?

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Addiction is just so devastating!
by: Debbie Wicker

Dear Dornell,

It's so difficult for those of us who aren't addicted to understand how someone who has everything that your husband has could potentially throw it away for one hit of cocaine, that leads to another, then another. Why would he do something so crazy and totally against his own interest?

I don't know, but I would guess, that he loves you and his children with all of his heart and that not having you will devastate his life, but he uses anyway? Makes no sense... so hard to understand... why would he do it???

Addiction is a very insidious disease and once it has a grip on us it doesn't let go. The disease of addiction attacks our brain and convinces us that we must use and that no one will know and that we can have our life just as it is and use cocaine, no problem.

Addiction attacks our brain and changes it so that our reasoning becomes illogical and almost nonsensical. That's likely where you husband is right now.

God can and often does heal addiction, but we must be in a 12 step group and stay in it for the rest of our life, work the steps, finding a sponsor who we will truly listen to, and learn how sponsor others and help them to reconnect with God and mange their addictions. That's the only way to successfully manage our addictions across a lifetime and to avoid relapse.

There is no cure for addiction, but as with any chronic illness, it can be managed and contained.

I would recommend that you begin attending Al-anon meetings today and multiple times a week. Then once you've found meetings you like, encourage your husband to come with you. Get him into 12 step meetings DAILY for at least 90 days, so that God can help him to understand and end this relapse.

Also, once he stops using he MUST keep going to meetings to maintain his sobriety and avoid relapse. I believe that the 12 steps will always work for him if he continues to work and re-work the steps. He may relapse but he must be willing to keep working the steps and end his relapse. Ultimately, he will likely have fewer and fewer relapses and he will be able to maintain his sobriety.

May God bless you and your entire family,

Debbie

Hang on if possible...
by: Jerry

Dornell,I can totally understand your situation, frustration, and your mixed feelings. I'm 42 years old and have been an addict since I was 15.

I started experimenting at the age of 11 and started smoking weed on a daily basis at 15. I've tried pretty much everything. I tried crack for the first time at 21, and it was the worst thing that I could have done.

Crack is in my opinion and probably with most others the most addictive drug I have ever done. I was hooked with the first hit and keep wanting more and more at all cost. It was also the hardest addiction to kick. It took me getting arrested and going to jail thankfully long enough to dry out, but not before wreaking my relationship with my parents.

I was so addicted I stole somethings from them and pawned it to get one more hit. One thing I stole was a 357 magnum hand gun and traded it for crack. My dad had to report the gun stolen because by my stupidity and addiction if anyone would have been shot by that gun he would not have been held responsible for it. Which if it wasn't for me stealing the gun he probably wouldn't have reported the other things he would have made me get it back out of pawn. But if it wasn't for the gun who knows were I would have ended up.

All drugs are evil, but crack is by far the worst cause of it being so highly addictive from that first hit. Like I said if it wasn't for my dad filing it stolen and if I hadn't gone to jail and dried out and came back to reality, with my addictive personality I would have been dead a long time ago.

I'm trying myself to get clean from pain killers now which is very hard in its own right, but not like crack. I hate that you and your husband are going through this but with your strong and POSITIVE support he can do it. I also want to THANK YOU for sharing your story because it has made me realize that if I can kick the crack addiction I can kick the pain pills!!!

Again THANK YOU and God Bless....

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- Matthew 7:7-8


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