My dad started giving me hydro-codons about 18 years ago. I have been addicted ever since. All of the pills he gives me are from people he knows or doctors he gets a script from and let's me get filled.
I don't go to doctors. I don't like them. He has helped me on this roller coaster and at first it was fun. Now I feel like it isn't and it's killing me physically, but also in every other way imaginable.
It has become a control thing with my dad over me. I take too many he says and I'm costing him money. Of course I am. I AM AN ADDICT. He says just take 3 a day and I take 10 and then here we go.
He says what the hell is wrong with you. I can't find as many pills as you take and I don't have money for this. You keep me from getting clothes for myself or for Ryley, my son, or you won't have food in the house. Is that worth it he says. Nope.
I need help. I know it. I just can't see it until after my son graduates high school in May and my daughter gets married in June. I am so ready to be done with this. More than my dad is I think. Then a big part of his control of me will be GONE and I can't imagine how good that will feel. Has to be better than this.
I don't even know what sending this will do. He brought me by percosets today and made me feel like the scum of the earth for it. Since then I've just cried and stayed in bed all day and taken pain pills. Some life. Whoever reads this, at least someone gave a damn enough to. Thanks.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Matthew 7:7-8