My husband is an addict!

We have been married for almost 13 years. I thought that using was in his past. Then I found out.. he was doing every 6 months or so.

Well now 13 years later it has become more frequent like every month or more. I know that this may not be as serious as many people situations but I am done.

I don’t understand drugs or addictions nor do I want to to. I have no sympathy and it disgusts me. I hate him for lying.

Sometimes I wish he were dead. I am so tired of trying. I know I need to walk away but we have two children. How am I going to do this. I am so sick of his excuses…. as if it is my fault. If I would only give him one night or let him do it without sneaking??

Is he stupid or he thinks I am?

I know this is no way my fault but for some odd reason he tries to turn it around. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can leave him without hurting my kids.

It would be much easier if he would just leave then I don’t have to look like the bad guy to the kids.

Leave First, Ask Question Later

by: Anonymous

I would think later your kids will understand, if they do not already detect his problems. It is important to protect your kids from this disease cause it can be catchy.

All I am saying I have dealt with a guy 2 years with this problem, they only love the drug. This drug do not have feelings only when sober, when he start using again everything and everyone will suffer like it feels.

Something Has To Give

by: Ned Wicker

Your husband has a brain disease, which causes him to make bad choices and has severely impaired his ability to make proper decisions about his life as a husband, father and member of society.

He will continue to deny his problem. He will blame you, belittle you and as time goes by, you and the children will not be important to him. If his drug use is allowed to continue, your marriage will surely end. Don’t be surprised if he divorces you, because you are inadequate.

So many wives have suffered through this scenario. It’s almost like a script, a kind of dance that those with the disease have to go through. Because he cannot make good choices, because he is the one with the disease, because he is in denial, he must lay all of the blame elsewhere. That means you. There is hope.

You should call Al-anon and tell them your story. The organization is designed to help wives just life you, who are trying to hold their families together and get help for their addicted husbands.

Whether he uses once a month, once every six months, or daily, he has a problem and that requires treatment. There are many forms of treatment and a plan can be designed for his personal need. But you have to try to get him in. Addiction, as you can probably already see, is a family disease.

Sometimes, it is necessary to lay down the law. There has to be consequences. Your children need a father, not a drug user. You need a husband. His disease is preventing that, so to get your husband back and for your kids to get their dad back, something positive has to happen. If he refuses to get treatment and continues to use, you may have no alternative but to ask him to leave. That sounds harsh, but it’s an example of what can happen.

Call Al-anon and get some support.

Addict husband

by: Jessica

I know only too well what you are going through I have been where you are and gone through your same feelings. I have been married to my husband for almost 16 yrs we have 4 beautiful daughters a huge house with a pool, everything that you could ever want but for some reason my husband always turns to drugs.

It started yrs ago in our early 20s with marajuana that turned to cocaine then most recently he stared using heroine. I stood by him tried to help he went though an outpatient treatment and got clean or so I thought 3 days before Christmas he was in the hospital for a bad reaction to shooting up cocaine.

I am so sad and feel so lost. He is a wonderful father and great provider sometimes I think thats the problem he has plenty of money to do these drugs. I know this is his problem and I really thinks he wants to get better but it is such a struggle for him.

If you could get past you anger and learn to not critize and try to be there for him. I know its hard and it takes time to get past the anger but he truly needs help.It truly is one day at a time you hv to really take it day by day.

My children are getting older and I know if he doesn’t get help soon we will all be lost forver. I am trying to be supportive without enableing him but there will come a time I will have to close the door on him if he doesnt quit the ball is in his court and I am leaving it to him. You cannot make him quit he has to want it and do it himself.

Good luck I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your children I know how much this hurts personally.

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