My last chance!!!

by Jerry
(Tulsa,Oklahoma )

My last chance... Hello my name us Jerry, I'm from Tulsa Oklahoma, it's been 34 days or so since I've been on this site. I've shared a few stories about my life as an addict and have commented on some if yours.

As some of you have read them, then you know a little about me, for the ones that haven't I'll tell you about my life as an addict. I'm 42 years old and have been am addict over half my life. Started out very young huffing gas at the age of 12 or so, thought I was being cool hanging out with the older guys in my neighborhood trying to fit in.

Then in sixth grade I started smoking weed, then by the time I was 15 I started smoking weed taking pills at 18 I started snorting Meth and coke. When I was 20 I was introduced to the needle, which was the worse thing I could have done and is my biggest my regret that I wish I could take back!!! I shot Meth for the first time and fell in love with it...

The needle brought me the best feeling I've ever had and the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Its caused me three marriages, two children because I've not been in their lives, and the three things that is talked about in N.A. "Jail, HOSPITALS, and DEATH!!! I've OVERDOSED and was dead for 5 minutes or so I was told and have been close to death on several other times, which has put me in the hospital and treatment centers.

I've been to prison twice and I'm currently on a D.O.C. GPS monitor now for a five year sentence. I shared about why we continue to use knowing the harsh consequences of our actions. I have just proved that. I just got out of county jail from a 30 day sanction for popping hot for Meth. Someone came by about 3-4 months ago that had some and I couldn't beat the temptation and used knowing what would happen if I was dirty just once... I was hot 3 times!!!

I went to my P.O. high as hell and didn't even realize I had F@@KED up, I shot a half grab the night before I went and never gave it a second thought cause I was so jacked I didn't even realize I was high cause I was so much out of touch with reality...

I am very fortunate and thankful all that happened was the 30 days, cause I could have been sent back to prison and lost my wife and kid's over it. My wife said that she would not wait the 5 years for me cause after 17 years of dealing with my addiction and being mentally and physically neglected she just couldn't go through any more. I can't blame her cause she is not an addict and never has ever tried drugs...

So my point is that, no matter what, drugs are not worth losing my family for or my freedom!!! I'm done with drugs and I hope my experience will help someone else to see what drugs will do to your life...

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and Finally Remember:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
- Matthew 7:7-8


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